


In The Beginning

by GlassRoom



Series: ABO Virus [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: A/B/O, Abortion, Accidental Voyeurism, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Beta!Sam, Human Castiel, M/M, Masturbation, Mention of attempted rape, Mpreg, Presentation, Supportive Sam, Unwanted Pregnancy, Virus, alpha!Castiel, intentional miscarriage, kevin tran - Freeform, omega!dean, suicidal thoughts Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-13 07:34:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 30,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7968028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlassRoom/pseuds/GlassRoom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They tried. They really did. They put everything they had into fighting it. And they lost. The ABO Virus was released and now unstoppable. Men's bodies changed to accommodate pregnancy, women's to grow a knot if they were Alpha.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Presentation

**Author's Note:**

> My first work in the A/B/O world :)
> 
> Labelled as 'explicit' because of the final chapter
> 
> I may continue the story after these chapters, as part of a series. Maybe.

Not all people presented right away. In some, it took months. There was even the small population that didn't seem to present at all, strangely immune to the virus. Sam presented first as Beta. No surprise there, both Cas and Dean thought. Sam was still the same level headed, kind, mostly demisexual being he'd always been. Except now if he wanted to bear a child he'd have to go through some fairly invasive procedures. As for getting someone else pregnant, well, it was possible but not likely. 

Dean started to relax about the whole thing. He watched his small group of friends adjust to the virus and it didn't seem too bad. The Omega heats looked like super horny times that Dean remembered from puberty. Ruts seemed about the same. Nobody talked about it much to Dean, and Dean certainly didn't ask. He was starting to believe he and Cas were among the immune. Until he woke up to soaked sheets.

The morning crept up on Dean like a bad mood. The air was just a bit stifling, the sheets just a bit scratchy, his memory foam mattress just a bit too soft, Cas' breathing just a bit too loud, Cas' body just a bit too prickly. When Dean shifted to try to snuggle back into sleep he noticed the sheets were damp. Muttering creative curses under his breath he tried to move away from the wet spot, only to discover it was originating from his boxer briefs.

_NO_ , he thought, frozen in place. He'd heard rumours. He'd heard mutterings. He'd barely paid attention to the news reports of how presenting happened. He'd watched Sam make his transition seamlessly. He couldn't. It's not possible. No. How. _Not. NO._

Very slowly, praying to Chuck with a vehemence he didn't know he had, he dragged one hand across the expanse of sheets and into the back of his underwear where he felt the confirmation, hot and slick, Omega.

He promptly burst into tears, which surprised a sleepy Cas and outright shocked himself. Inside he felt himself crack in two. One part of him was now outright bawling, the other wondering who was making such a racket so early in the day. He could barely hear Cas' words of concern over his own wailing. He wanted to get out of his own skin, he wanted to feel like he did when he went to bed, he wanted the wetness to stop burbling out of his backside, he wanted all the scents in the world to go away, he wanted his raging erection to just fuck off, he wanted to be himself again. Everything was too loud, too hot, too cold, too scented, too sharp, too bright, just _too MUCH._

In the distant, rational part of his mind he knew he was overreacting, but he was absolutely powerless to stop the deluge of emotion. He could acknowledge that Cas smelled good, like _really good_ , which only served to confuse him. He was upset and the last thing he wanted was sex...except he wanted to be mounted so badly that it was becoming the overriding thought for him. His underwear was now soaked, probably in part because he hadn't removed his hand yet. He let his fingers explore how different he was, warm and wet, slightly sticky, sweet smelling....and _ready._ Just as he was about to rip off his boxer briefs and ride his boyfriend, who was trying to hold him and calm him down, when the door banged open.

That same distant, rational part of his mind made fun of his brother's messy hair and wild expression. His brother who barged into the bedroom looking for the threat that would make his older brother react this way. Dean watched Sam collapse a little in relief that there was no threat present, and place his weapon on the nearby dresser as Dean took his hand out of his underwear. No need for Sam to see that.

The now-Omega part of his mind could only sense comfort from Sam. The scent that followed Sam into the room wrapped Dean in safety, kindness, concern, and comfort. When Sam sat on the edge of the bed, heedless of the dampness, Dean let himself be swaddled in his little brother's huge arms and be rocked while he rode out the tsunami of tears. With each hiccup of an inhale, he could scent Cas' bewilderment and hurt. Dean knew that he should be seeking solace in the arms of his boyfriend and not his brother, but he found he calmed down very quickly when pressed up against Sam's massive chest, whereas he was pretty sure he'd do everything in his power to have sex if he cuddled up against Cas. 

“Ok Dean, it's ok, we'll get through it, we love you, it's ok,” Sam kept murmuring over and over while he stroked Dean's hair. Dean felt Sam tuck the blanket around his soaking bottom half, and the kindness of the action just made him cry harder.

Before long, Dean's crying was reduced to hitching breath and spilling tears. Every time he tried to pull away from Sam and go to Cas, he found his new hormones would assault him. Whenever he stayed close to Sam he felt more rational. So he stayed in Sam's arms and felt horribly guilty that he'd hurt Cas with his choice. 

“Dean? Ready to talk?” Sam asked, keeping his voice low and soothing. He didn't stop rocking or smoothing a hand over his hair.

Dean's first attempt at forming words failed. His second was more successful, with a watery “...not s'posed t'appen....”

“I know Dean. You two thought you were immune. It's ok. Omega isn't the end of things, you'll see,” Sam soothed. Dean buried his head in Sam's chest, ashamed of his tears, of his arousal, of being Omega.

_Yes, it is the end of things_ , Dean countered silently. _I've seen how people treat Omegas. Like they need permission to cross the goddamn street. Like they are delicate, breeding machines._ “...'m a h-hunter.....c-can't hunt like th-this...” The ache was growing low in his belly. He needed something inside of him, soon. Cas. Yes, Cas inside him would be good. Fantastic, even. Despite all the crying and crazy emotions, his dick was still standing at attention and much to Dean's horror he was still leaking slick and had to actively stop himself from grinding on his brother.

“Dean.” Cas' gravelly voice cut through Dean's tears, pulling at Dean's new Omega hormones.

“One second Cas,” Sam interrupted. “Dean, you haven't been a hunter since Cas fell. Remember? Remember how badly he was hurt?” Sam reminded him gently.

Reality smashed Dean in the face, hard. He was a mechanic now. Cas had been mortally wounded so they quit hunting recently. Sam was a professor, Dean a mechanic, and Cas worked in a greenhouse/garden supply store. They all lived in the bunker until they could figure out new living arrangements, but first they were getting used to working for other people. No way he could go back to the garage. Not with all the awful things that were said about Omegas there. Every mechanic was an Alpha, every Alpha would scent him if he tried to work there now. They couldn't even keep an Omega at the front desk, instead they had to hire a Beta. 

New laws were slow to catch up to the new ABO Virus, leaving Omegas as low class citizens with restrictions on their freedoms. Well, an Omega could work anywhere, as long as the Omega didn't mind the harassment. Just like an Omega could walk alone at night, as long as the Omega didn't mind Alphas following or catcalling. An unmated Omega was particularly vulnerable to the more rowdy Alphas. Dean had overheard some stories from his coworkers that set his teeth on edge, privately grateful he was immune. Until now. A fresh wave of hormones hit him with all of this, and he burst into tears again. He was just getting used to his new friends at work. Now there was no way he could ever set foot in the shop again. And Cas....what if he never presented? What kind of relationship would that be? And where was that scent coming from? That beautiful, spicy scent of fresh cut grass and sun on sweaty skin. That scent of power, of honey, of wildflowers, of joy. 

“Dean,” Cas tried again with an undercurrent of authority.

“Cas, wait,” Sam commanded, pulling Dean closer to him.

“No. Samuel. Let go of my Omega.” Cas' voice resonated deep inside of Dean and he found himself tilting his head further into Sam's neck...and exposing his own neck for Cas.

The room froze for a moment. Dean felt Sam's hand tighten around his side, and Sam suddenly smelled of trepidation and caution on top of his usual scent (that Dean had only been vaguely aware of until this morning) of old books and electronics. Very slowly Dean turned his head to face Cas and what he saw made him lose his breath. There he was, kneeling up on the bed, shoulders back, arms loose at his sides with fists curling, head high, direct gaze....and a massive erection that Cas was making no move to hide.

A few things happened all at once:   
Dean came without warning, shooting hot ropes into his underwear while soaking everything with slick;   
Sam moved Dean to the floor, stood in front of Dean, grabbed his knife and held it at Cas' throat;   
Cas lunged forward to grab Dean and met Sam's blade, not stopping until it pierced his skin.

Everything stopped while all three sucked all the oxygen from the room. Dean started mewling, mortified that he was fingering himself on the floor behind his brother, but god did it feel good. Something bigger would be better, something Cas-shaped would be best. Cas and Sam stared each other down, not moving a muscle even though Cas was close enough that Sam could feel the tip of Cas' cock pressing into his hip. 

“Castiel.” Sam ordered, finally breaking their tableaux. “You will back off. You will not mate with Dean on his first heat. Do you understand.” Sam had done all the research that Dean had been avoiding. First heats range from not too bad to excruciating. Mating on the first heat was ill advised, the body was not yet used to the changes that were taking place. Sam had shared all of this with Cas and Dean, although Dean barely listened.

Cas pressed forward, letting the knife cut deeper for a split second before imperceptibly backing off. Suddenly Cas realized that if Dean moved too quickly, Cas would grab him and force his head down into the pillow while he fucked Dean into next week. “Don't let him run,” was all Cas could bite out, his voice thick with warning. Cas' eyes never left Dean as Sam slowly bent down and tucked the blankets around his brother. Without commenting on the location of his brother's hands in the blankets, Sam picked him up and backed out of the room, still awkwardly wielding the knife. As soon as Sam was in the hall he moved as quickly as he could to his own room, dumping Dean on his bed and locking the door as quickly as he could.


	2. Heat and Rut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor Sam. As he does his best to keep Dean and Cas separated, he sees a lot more than he bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorta smutty :)

Sam did his best to ignore his brother's moans as he tried to form a plan. Dean had just presented as Omega and was clearly giving in to his instincts by grinding himself down on the bed where Sam had dropped him. The scent of his brother was overpowering but good; gun oil, leather, and worn cotton. Also desperation, confusion, and shame laced the air around Dean. Sam knew this transition was difficult for Dean. Well, not 'difficult' as much as 'worst nightmare'. Nothing could be done about it now though, so Sam did as he always did, he planned. 

First, he couldn't allow Cas and Dean to be in the same room. Cas had presented as Alpha not even a half hour after Dean's Omega came through. Sam suspected that the bond between those two is what caused this to happen almost simultaneously. During Sam's research he found that lifetime couples, or 'soulmates' if you believe in that kind of thing, frequently presented together. Sam himself had presented as Beta and it really wasn't too bad. Kind of felt like he finally slipped into his own skin. But Dean...Dean was not prepared for Omega status. Not at all.

If he let them be together it would be disastrous, soulmates or not. Dean's body wasn't ready for being an Omega, the change was the most difficult of all three.

When the virus hit, people generally went along with it, thinking it wasn't too bad. That was, until Omegas started to speak out about how difficult it was to prepare a male body for pregnancy. Alphas generally just brushed off the information, having developed a knot and finding that transition was not unpleasant. Even women who grew knots found it was merely uncomfortable for the first rut. Omegas though, they found it difficult to deal with the new physiology and had set up a support network online to assist those in transition. Alphas routinely trolled the sites, but Betas like Sam kept them at bay.

So Sam had to figure out how to keep Alpha Cas away from Omega Dean without getting himself killed. Normally that thought would have made him laugh, but he saw the look on Cas' face when Sam took Dean out of the room. So, placation. Sam looked at his brother writhing on the bed, crying with need and shame. Dean had never hid his sexual escapades from Sam, but had never advertised them either. Growing up so close they inevitably saw each other's erections, but were gentlemanly in taking care of the issue. Mostly. They did tease, but what brothers don't? Sam had a moment of understanding that Dean couldn't help himself right now, he couldn't stop from stripping his cock and shoving his fingers up his newly slicked canal. But it still weirded him out to see Dean like this....in his bed....face lax with ecstasy...wet sounds coming from under the sheet. The sheet. That's it.

“Dean, hey Dean.....think of Cas. Think of your Alpha knotting you. Think of-” He didn't need to continue. Dean came hard, hips jumping off the bed.

Bracing himself, Sam spoke before he could think, “now give my your underwear.”

Dean looked at Sam as if Sam had asked him to fight a monster with his dick in his hand. Before Dean could form words, Sam waved in the general direction of Dean's room where Cas was currently....well....jerking it, probably. “For Cas. Gimmie your undies to give to Cas.”

“Oh, oh yes, for Cas,” Dean whispered, face flushing further as he appeared to rub his boxer briefs over his soaking hole. “Here, for my Alpha,” Dean shimmied out of them and held them out to Sam.

...who had not thought of this part. He didn't want Dean to feel any more weird than he already did, so cringing was out of the question. But he had to get them to Cas. “Um....I don't want my scent on them, here,” Sam yanked the garbage bag out of the little can near the bed. Under the used bag were more bags for when the can needed changing. He grabbed a new bag, flicked it open, and held it out. “Drop them in,” he instructed, thinking he'd put the old bag back in the can if he ever set foot in this room again. Although Dean did look adorably innocent in his t-shirt and bottom half wrapped in a bed sheet. Less innocent were his fingers shining from slick....something Sam tried very hard not to grimace at.

Dean did as he was told. “Sam....” he pleaded, “'m sorry....I can't.....sorry Sam...” Dean's hand slithered back under the sheet while his breathing picked up.

“It's ok. It's fine. The heat won't last forever. Ok? We'll get through it.” Sam said as confidently as he could. Seeing that Dean was...busy....again, Sam quickly left the room and ran down the hall. 

He could hear Cas before he got to the door. Grunting and moaning Dean's name in cadence with the squeak of the bed frame. Sam raised a hand to knock but the door whipped open before his knuckles made contact. “DEAN,” Cas boomed. Sam only had a second to take in Cas' wild eyes, raging cock, and heaving chest before Cas tried to shoulder past him out the door.

“NO. You will stay in this room. You will hurt Dean if you mate him now.” That last statement made Cas back up a single step. Sam could see the war going on in Cas' features. This was all new for him too, and apparently just as overwhelming. “Here,” Sam tossed the bag, “use this for now. Stay here or I'll lock you in.” The look on Cas' face told Sam that perhaps challenging an Alpha during first rut may be a bad idea. The look vanished as the bag fell open in Cas' grasp. The scent of Dean's slick filled the room. Sam watched as Cas brought the boxers to his nose and inhaled deeply. _And that's enough of that,_ he thought as he closed the door and ran back to Dean.

A brief glace into the room was more than Sam ever wanted to see, and the trailing thought that the plastic water bottle should not be used in that fashion. But it did give him an idea.

After closing the door on his brother he sank to the floor with his back resting on the bedroom door. He fished out his phone while he tried very hard to not hear Dean's whimpers. After several unsuccessful tries at unlocking it, he found Charlie's number and punched the 'call' button.

“Hey man, what's up? You want to do another raid night?” Charlie's adorable voice filled Sam's ear. Honestly, he'd like nothing better than to attach himself to his computer and log into World of Warcraft and kill things, but that won't be on the agenda for a while. 

“Charlie, I need your help,” Sam gasped, squeezing his eyes against the sounds in the bedroom. He really needed to buy a new water bottle. Something totally different than the one that...never mind.

“Sam!?? What's wrong, tell me,” she demanded, suddenly all business. Charlie had recently presented as Omega along with her girlfriend Gilda. With no chances of pregnancy between the two of them, they were able to ride out the initial heat. Sam learned a lot more than he'd intended about it over chat in his raid group.

“Dean's Omega. As of less than an hour ago. Cas is Alpha.”

“Don't let them mate!!!” Charlie practically screamed into the phone. She had lost a dear friend when he mated too early. His pregnancy was complicated, both he and the pup didn't make it during delivery.

“I know, I'm trying. I thought maybe you'd have some toys. That you could bring here? Like, now?” Sam decided this was officially the most awkward conversation he'd ever initiated. He knew about Charlie and Gilda's adult entertainment store, but never shopped there. His friends really didn't need to know what he liked and what he didn't.

“Absolutely. We have an excellent selection. I'm packing some up now. Um...our store is new though, and we can't afford to give this stuff away....”

“I have cash,” _in my room, with Dean, that I have to retrieve without seeing Dean,_ “I can give you six hundred. Please, hurry. The front door is unlocked.” 

“That's more than enough, I'll bring the really good stuff. Hang in there, ok? First heats are intense, but fast.”

“Thank you so much,” Sam gushed before ending the call. Next task; he'd lied to Charlie - the front door was locked. Sam stood up and scented the air as best he could. Armed with the knowledge that both men would stay put for a moment, Sam took off at a full run to the door. He bounded up the stairs, unlocked the door, tested it to be sure, and bolted back to the bedroom hallway in time to see Cas opening his door.

“Cas....” Sam warned. This was going to be difficult, Alphas don't necessarily respect Betas, but Cas was an angel once and had a good understanding of how new and weird biology could be.

“Sam. I need him.” Cas' voice had that strange sound of overpowering authority mixed with desperation. Sam decided he never wanted to hear it again, especially since the Beta part of him was already obeying. He dug deep inside himself and lowered his eyes to avoid challenging the Alpha part of Cas.

“No. You know it will hurt Dean. Charlie is on the way with some....aids.” Sam could smell the struggle in Cas, so he very slowly moved to the door. He raised his eyes enough to look at Cas' chin. “If you have a shirt or something with your scent I can give it to him. Otherwise, please, go back into the room.”

Sam was shocked by the growl that rumbled through Cas. But ultimately, after what felt like an eternity, Cas leaned over and picked up the shirt he'd slept in and held it out for Sam.

...who really did not want to touch that. Clearly, Cas had been using it as a 'cleanup' rag. Multiple times. So much that the shirt held its crumpled shape even though Cas was holding it by the collar. Fighting the urge to cringe, he took the shirt by pinching it between his thumb and forefinger. “...don't want my scent on it...” was all he could offer as explanation. Keeping his movements slow and easy, Sam backed out of the room, closing the door gently on his way out. From there he walked while keeping the shirt as far away from him as he could, for once grateful for his long arms.

Sam didn't bother knocking on his bedroom door. They were all past any kind of decency here. 

“CAS,” Dean cried, the very second the door was open.

“Not Cas....well....some of Cas. He used this for-” nope. Not finishing that sentence. Instead he held it out to Dean who snatched it from his pincer grip. Sam watched in fascination as Dean pulled the shirt open to reveal...more nope. Lots and lots and lots of nope all over that shirt. When Dean brought the shirt to his face, Sam turned away so fast he almost fell into the dresser.

 _Money,_ he remembered. Ignoring the moaning and wet noises behind him, Sam groped blindly in one drawer for a roll of bills. The very second he closed his fist around the bills he yanked his hand out, shoved the drawer shut, and fled.

He made it to the hallway again, sitting in his now-usual spot on the floor, before having the presence of mind to call both Dean and Cas' work. He cited a family emergency for their absences, telling their bosses that they will be updated as soon as he was updated. He suspected the bosses knew about the presentations, it happened a lot these days, but Sam didn't confirm anything for them. It was none of his business to out them before they were ready. As for his own job, he was beyond grateful that it was Reading Week. 

Next he sat waiting for Charlie, idly fiddling with his phone, as he wondered if this was the most pornographic and bizarre thing that had ever happened inside the walls of the bunker.


	3. Management

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie and Kevin arrive to help Sam manage the situation between Cas and Dean. Dean has a very difficult time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: suicidal thoughts

“Helloooo, anybody home?” came a lilting voice from the front door. 

“Down here,” Sam called out gratefully. Finally, Charlie arrived with the...stuff. It felt like it'd been hours, but when Sam checked his phone he found it had only been around 45 minutes since he hung up the phone with her. 

He watched as she bustled into the hallway, laden with bags. “Ok, I have lots of stuff here. I didn't know what they'd want so I brought a nice selection. Also, I called Kevin and asked him to pick up some food, so he'll be along in a bit. I told him the door was open, hope that was ok.” Before Sam could even open his mouth to thank her, she was opening bags. “All right. These are for Cas. Lots of different styles for him to penetrate.” She unloaded several Fleshlight-type objects and began tearing the packaging off. Sam reached over to help, trying and failing to not picture what Cas would do with them. “This one is really neat, lots of Alphas rave about it, it's our best seller for this purpose. See how the rim here is tight but sorta flexible? Makes it feel like he's actually getting his knot inside, y'know?” No, Sam didn't, but now he did. “These are good too, for when he wants something different.” More items spilled out of the bag, some soft, some rigid, one shaped like an egg. 

“Um...” Sam held up the egg.

“He puts it on like a sock. It's stretchy and soft and pliant so he will need his hand or the-”

“Got it.” Sam set it down, making a mental note of the brand so he could pick one up for himself. If he ever got to leave this hallway, that is.

“Ok, now for Dean I have some different things. These are fake knots, and see how on this dildo there's a knot there? I wasn't sure of Cas' size-”

“Big. Really big.”

Charlie raised an eyebrow at how Sam would know that, but soldiered on. “So he can use the dildo and knot, or just the knot, you get the idea. Now here's something extra special.” Charlie held up a small container with an easy open lid. “This is for slick. Dean can collect it and give it to Cas. Great for lube. And everything here is dishwasher safe for when they're done. Gotta keep your stuff clean, y'know?”

Sam couldn't quite hear her over the roaring in his ears. A collection jar. That he would have to handle. Repeatedly. Dean would so owe him for this.

“Sam? I don't think I should go and see Cas. I will give Dean his stuff, but I need you to give Cas his.”

Sam's stomach dropped at that thought. Of course she was right. There was no good way for an Omega to be near a rutting Alpha. “Yeah, no problem. Hey Charlie? Thanks for all of this. Seriously. I don't know what I'd've done without you.” Sam let himself be hugged by Charlie and then handed over his roll of bills. “Well. Let's get this done.” He got up from the floor and filled his arms with all the new toys for Cas while Charlie did the same for Dean. Sam told her which room Dean was in, then headed to Cas' room.

~

“Cas,” Sam called softly as he opened the door, ignoring the need to knock. “I have some things for you.” He was greeted with the sight of Cas milking the last drops of an orgasm out of himself. _Well fuck,_ he thought, _I didn't really need to see that._

“Sam,” Cas croaked. Privately he wondered how, exactly, he could get this assertive Beta to get out of his way so he could go to his Omega. “There's another Omega. Charlie?” Cas knew he should probably take his hand away from his dick, but that wasn't going to happen any time soon. Sam could learn to not look. Or look. Cas didn't care.

“Yes. Charlie brought some things.” Sam walked over to the bed to a naked Cas and dumped the toys next to him. “Charlie brought a nice selection for you. I'll bring food in later. You have the sink for water. Ok?” Sam had barely let go of the things when Cas picked one up and slipped two fingers inside it.

“This feels very close to Dean. Dean. Want him. Sam. Get Dean.” Cas moved his fingers in and out of the toy while reaching for Dean's underwear.

“You know I'm not going to do that, Cas. I'll be back with food.” Sam wasn't sure if Cas was listening any more. And Sam really did not want to see what he was going to do with the underwear and the toy, so he left quickly.

~

“Dean?” Charlie knocked softly as she opened the door. “Oh, Dean,” she sighed with concern. He was sweaty, soaked, flushed, and crying softly as he clutched a filthy shirt.

“Charlie? What're you doin' here?” Dean rasped. He didn't want anyone to see him like this. He didn't want to _be_ like this. He wanted to go back in time to yesterday. He was too exhausted to try to hide his leaking eyes from her, or his nudity.

“Got some stuff to help you out. Lots of cool toys. Lookit, this one has a knot.” Charlie held one out for Dean, whose eyebrows lifted in interest. “And here. This is a little jar for you to fill up with slick. Then Sam can give your slick to Cas to help him out.”

“Cas? Can I see Cas? Please? He'll help. I know he will. Charlie please, please get Cas, please,” Dean begged in what he thought was the most pathetic voice he had. He couldn't help it though, everything hurt at the same time as feeling good. Somewhere in his mind he remembered being a tough, strong hunter and was humiliated to feel so weak and needy.

“Dean,” Charlie admonished softly, “you know that can't happen. He could get you pregnant and hurt you. Soon. Ok? Soon. This heat won't last a week, you'll see. I can answer your questions though. It's not so bad, being an Omega. You have Cas, he will treat you right. Not much as changed. Way deep down, you're still you.” Charlie wiped Dean's tears away with a clean tissue. “You wanna hear a funny story?”

Fresh tears dripped out of Dean's eyes as he tried to discreetly move the massive dildo/knot behind him. “Sure,” he agreed, really hoping the story would distract him from the overwhelming need to mount everything in the room.

“When I went through my first heat, I woke up in the middle of the night just soaked. I'd read up on everything and was honestly thrilled to present as Omega. But I wasn't prepared for the strong feeling of needing a knot.” Charlie paused to help Dean with a good angle for entry, as if she was merely scratching an itch he couldn't reach. “So, while Gilda ran to her laptop to find some information on where to get a knot or what to do....I backed myself up onto a doorknob.”

A laugh punched through Dean. “Seriously?” he asked as he started to rock his hips without making it obvious that he was rocking his hips. 

“Yeah. Seriously. Gilda ran into the room and saw me, mounting an antique doorknob. It had lots of little curlicues on it. Good for friction,” Charlie winked. “It's why we opened the store, so other people don't have to go far for some sexual aids. Look. I know this is embarrassing for you. But it's natural. Or, the new natural anyway. It's just biology. You are horny, you will need to take care of that urge. A lot. After the heat has passed, Cas can take you to the doctor for some suppressants. They make the heats more bearable but still keep you horny enough for Cas' ruts.”

Dean's breathing was picking up. This dildo, while not nearly close to the real thing, was much better than the water bottle, or his hand. “Charlie....” he started, unsure of how to ask for some privacy.

Charlie picked up on it. “Kevin is coming by with food. I'll go wait with Sam. And remember, fill up your slick tub.” With that, Charlie smiled and left Dean, who managed to wait until the door was closed before shooting another load.

~

“Did it go ok?” Sam asked as soon as Charlie was out of the room.

“Yeah, I guess. He's pretty upset.”

Sam slid his eyes over the tiles on the wall. “I know. I wish I could do something, but...” Sam trailed off, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“You are doing something. Not everyone reacts as well as you have. I know some people that have kicked out family members for being Omega. It's really awful to see.” Charlie didn't want to go into too much detail. Dean had a hard road ahead, and it would do no good at all to focus on that right now. “How's Cas?”

“Horny. Less aggressive than I thought he'd be, but still not his usual docile self around me. I swear, there was one point where I thought he'd kill me to get to Dean.” Sam shivered, remembering the look on Cas' face when Sam held the knife to his throat. 

“Cas will be a good Alpha for Dean. They really love each other, it will make the adjustment easier.” Again, Charlie refrained from telling Sam what could happen if Cas was...less loving and more controlling as a person.

“Guys?” Kevin's voice floated down the stairs. “Where are you?”

“Here,” they both called out, then laughed softly. “By the bedrooms,” Sam called.

Kevin came around the corner with some very delicious smelling bags. “I brought some portable food for Cas and Dean, and here, omelettes and bacon for us!” Kevin unpacked the different containers, leaving two bags alone. “There's one for Dean and one for Cas,” he said as he pointed to the two bags. 

Sam peeked in and found granola bars, fruit, sandwiches, and in Dean's bag, pie slices. A wave of affection for his fellow Beta rose up in Sam. “Thanks Kevin, really.” Sam gave him a light hug. 

“No problem. But I'd rather not give them the food.” 

Sam understood. Kevin had a terrible experience with an Alpha beating him in a fit of rage not that long ago. As for Omegas...well...Kevin seemed to know Dean would want some privacy. 

First he took the food to Cas, who didn't even bother looking up from what he was doing with his new toy, then he went into Dean's room.

“Sam....Sammy.....I don't like this....” Dean whimpered.

“I know Dean, I know.” Sam set the bag down near the sink and went over to crouch near the bed. He was going to need a new mattress when this was all over. “Dean? There's food by the sink. Is there anything I can do for you?” Sam stroked Dean's sweaty hair and tried to ignore the feeling of his heart breaking at the look in Dean's eyes.

“....end it....Sammy.....stop this.....make it stop....end it please....” Dean whispered. 

Sam's blood went cold. He knew exactly what Dean was asking for. He did a mental inventory of all the weapons in his room. There were seven knives and three guns. He didn't have any belts or rope – thank Chuck – but he'd need to get rid of the other stuff. “Dean. Look at me.” He waited until Dean met his eyes. “You are too valuable to lose. I love you, and I will do anything, absolutely anything, to protect you and keep you safe. And what do you think will happen to Cas if you just gave up?” Sam knew that was dirty pool, but he was far from sorry.

Dean felt himself shatter inside. He really didn't believe he had the strength to do this. Not after everything he'd seen and heard about Omegas. Not him. Not as an Omega. “Sammy...” he pleaded.

“No. I'm gonna take all the weapons out of the room. Then I'm coming back, and I'm gonna sit in here with you until I know you won't do anything permanent.” Sam concentrated hard on releasing any and all feelings of safety, warmth, and comfort for Dean to scent.

Dean's face crumpled when the reality of what he'd said to Sam sunk in. “...Sam...this isn't me...” heaving sobs started blowing through him. “I don't know....help me....” And suddenly the room was enveloped in _SAM_ – warm, cozy, brother-love, security, and comfort. 

Sam let Dean cry it out before gathering all the weapons. “I'll be right back,” he said softly as Dean picked up another toy and his little jar. 

Outside the room, Sam handed the weapons off to Charlie and Kevin with a quick explanation, and was floored when Charlie nodded knowingly.

“It's the hormones. It happens sometimes. Think about who he was before, and how radically different this is going to be for him. He's lucky to have you. Stay with him. We've got this. I've already called Gilda to tell her I'll be here for a while.”

“And I've got nowhere to be right now, so here is where I am,” Kevin said with a smile. “I'll deal with Cas when I need to, Charlie will help you with Dean. The first time is the worst. It really does get better, right Charlie?”

Charlie nodded enthusiastically. “We've got this,” she confirmed.

Sam made a mental note to do something really special for these two people when his life settles down a bit. Until then, he returned to Dean and trusted Charlie and Kevin to handle the day-to-day details.


	4. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The heat and rut have passed...just about....but now there are some more complications.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Dean :(

It was only five days. Five of the most tumultuous, weird, stressful days of his new human life. But it was finally over. Cas sat in his room, twisted in the sheet, and considered what to do next. He hadn't seen Dean for the entire time....but he could smell him and detect his emotions. There was one point where Dean seemed so helpless and lost that Cas wanted to rip down every wall separating him from Dean to get to him. He caught himself in time, only because he'd clearly imagined Sam's death if he tried to interfere. So instead Cas ripped the room apart in frustration. Not one single item of furniture was left intact. Kevin had the presence of mind to leave him alone during his rampage, Charlie had not even shown herself to Cas. Which Cas understood, now that he was feeling more rational, but he always liked Charlie, so he was a bit confused as to why he felt he needed to put her in her place. Just when he was getting used to being a fallen angel/new human, he had Alpha hormones to deal with.

While Dean had been turning a blind eye to everything about the ABO Virus, Cas had researched as much as he could with Sam. Cas was genuinely surprised that Dean presented as Omega, he really thought it'd be him. Now that the decision had been made against their wills, it was time to adjust to their new statuses. 

Being an Alpha wasn't a bad deal, Cas considered as he stroked his softened knot absently. Similar to the caste system he'd witnessed in many societies, Alphas were basically Top Dogs. Not a problem for him, but for Dean....it was going to be difficult.

As Dean ignored the new world and its standards, Cas had been studying it. Omegas were not treated fairly, and that angered him a great deal. Dean was worth more than many people combined, in his opinion, but the world wasn't going to see that. They were going to see an Omega first, Dean second.

Cas looked at the mess around him and felt a pang of regret for the destruction, immediately followed by the thought that he could just order the Betas in the house to clean up....and they would. He felt a rush of power at that idea, and let it wash over him rather than fight it. The toughest lesson he learned over the last five days was how to acknowledge what was happening inside of him without acting on anything. 

With a sigh, Cas fished out his robe from the mess. He would clean the room and replace the furniture, that was only right. He shook the robe out and put it on so he could shower. When he opened the door he ran smack into Kevin.

“Going somewhere?” Kevin asked, blocking the path.

“The rut is gone. For now. And I need a shower. Step aside.” Cas felt bad for the lie, his rut was still there, but drastically reduced.

Kevin considered Cas' order. He made a show of scenting the air and finally stepping back. 

All the way to the shower room, Cas kept thinking _Dean Dean Dean_ and how he just wanted to hold Dean and see him through this. That if he'd been able to physically be near Dean then Dean would not have been so forlorn and lonely. The scent of Dean's heat permeated the hallway and went straight to Cas' groin, so when he entered the shower room, he was fully hard again.

The first thing he saw when he stepped into the room was Dean. Golden, beautiful, stunning, wet, Dean. Cas only vaguely noticed Sam was also in the same shower stall, also naked, and was currently washing _HIS DEAN._ Instinct took over, faster than Cas had time to process. He strode over to the shower, dropping his robe on the way, and grabbed Dean when he was within reach.

“Cas,” Dean trembled, weak and raw from his heat.

“DEAN,” Cas bellowed as he drew his Omega into a tight hug, forcing Sam away.

“Guys,” Sam tried, frustrated beyond all measure that he'd managed to keep them apart and here they were, hugging way too tight.

Cas buried his nose in Dean's neck to inhale his gorgeous scent while he rocked his pelvis against Dean. He felt Dean harden so he shifted position, lightning fast. Suddenly Dean's leg was up over Cas' hip, ankle trying for purchase on Cas' butt. Cas thrust up once, got the angle right, and shot his load inside his Omega. Fastest sex he'd had since the first time Dean laid a hand on his newly human cock. And it was worth it to hear Dean's grunt of pleasure and feel Dean empty himself between them.

“Hey Cas, missed you,” Dean murmured into Cas' neck before catching Sam's eye. Dean felt himself blush right to the roots of his hair at what Sam just witnessed. Not the sex part, Dean showed Sam a whole new world of masturbation during his heat when Sam refused to leave the room. It was the fact that he came so incredibly fast that bugged him. He liked to think he had more stamina than that. Especially after a week of jerking it. Nothing could be done about it now though.

“Guys,” Sam tried again, not even bothering to hide his nudity. Cas was the one who barged in, after all. “You can't....” he trailed off. What was done was done. “You were supposed to wait a few days,” he said weakly.

“Sorry Sam,” Cas offered, sounding anything but sorry. The only thing Cas missed was the opportunity to knot Dean. The angle for that was wrong, and it happened too fast. He was already slipping out of Dean, leaving a dripping trail in his wake. He took the loofa from Sam and washed Dean again before washing himself. By the time he was done, Sam was waiting by the door in his robe with his arms crossed and an odd look on his face, like he was trying to figure out the new rules to their new world.

“What?” Dean asked as Cas dried him off gently.

“This new world is weird.” Sam shook his head slowly. “Are you guys up for some food?” And cleaning. A lot of cleaning. Maybe burning some sheets in the yard. Sam had already figured out which room he wanted to move into, thinking he'd never get the smell of Dean's heat out of the walls in his old room.

The couple agreed to dinner, so they went their separate ways to get dressed. Cas wasn't ready to show Dean the condition of their bedroom, so he requested that Dean stay with Sam for a moment while he retrieved some clothes. He came back with Dean's favourite boxer briefs and the softest pants and shirt he could find for his Omega, figuring Dean had a hard time lately and deserved some comfortable items instead of restrictive clothing.

While Cas was dressing and getting things for Dean, Sam took the time to thank Charlie and Kevin for all their help. Dean half listened to Sam, nodding where needed, thanking them when it was his turn, but his attention was turned inwards. He still felt like his insides were made of a tangle of live wires that he was trying to sort out. Luckily, Charlie and Kevin were at the ends of their own rope after being absolutely indispensable over the last week, so they didn't seem to notice Dean's preoccupation as they gathered their things to leave.

Cas returned and dressed Dean in the hallway as Sam walked their two friends to the door. All of the attention felt weird to Dean. He was used to Cas tending to him, but dressing him was new and, oddly, not unwelcome. Dean didn't know if it was because of the whole Alpha/Omega thing or that Cas was grateful to finally be around Dean after a week or what. But it was nice, so he didn't argue or point it out to Cas.

Once dressed, they met Sam in the kitchen. Sam rummaged around in the fridge for leftovers, found a bunch, and started to reheat different plates. “So. We need to talk,” Sam decided without bothering to consult Dean or Cas. “Dean, you've been ignoring everything about the virus, it's time you learned. You'll have to. First off, I don't know if you have a job to go to. Secondly, Cas is your Alpha and in some cases this is going to matter. A lot.” Sam put plates of food on the table for everyone to pick at.

“Sam. We can handle it. I will do everything I can to protect Dean.” Cas smiled at Dean and fed him a bit of leftover pancake.

Dean just felt uncomfortable. He'd said some things, and done some things, that he was ashamed of now. And Cas was feeding him. And he was _letting_ Cas feed him. Again, he didn't mind, it was just strange. He didn't object, just kept chewing whatever Cas held out for him.

As Sam rambled on about new laws or something, Dean tried to figure out why he was feeling weird. Weirder than the heat. He kept his mouth full so he wouldn't have to talk while he tried to pinpoint the problem.

“Yeah, I know you'll protect him,” Sam agreed, “but the world is different. I've seen some Omegas be turned away for not having an Alpha with them. Omegas that just want to learn at the university, but aren't allowed to without permission. It's changing, but not everyone respects the new laws.”

Cas was barely paying attention. Dean smelled different. Cas could tell he was very uncomfortable and chalked it up to poor nutrition over the week and the heat passing. So he fed Dean some bits of meat from the leftover Chinese food plate, along with some vegetable pieces.

“We will figure it out. We always do,” Cas assured Sam. “Thank you for all your help this week. I admit I was a bit rough with you. And I'm genuinely sorry for that. I hope you can forgive me so we can move on,” Cas offered as he moved Dean's glass of water in front of him to drink. 

“Already done. You couldn't help it. I've seen a lot worse,” Sam shuddered at what he remembered walking into one day at the university. Some Alphas were much more violent during their rut.

“And we need some new furniture for our room, Dean. I was upset and took it out on whatever I could lay my hands on.” 

Dean barely heard Cas. He was still trying to figure out what was wrong. Something wasn't right. He felt weird. Odd. Strange. Loaded. Full. _...pregnant._ The shock that he could be pregnant made his stomach seize. He barely managed to turn away from the table before he threw up. _No,_ was all he could think. _no no No NO._

Sam and Cas froze. Cas scented Dean and clued in first with a “you're pregnant!” and hugged Dean, heedless of the fact that Dean looked like he was about to hurl again. “We're going to have a pup! That's amazing! Dean! A family!” Cas was overjoyed and missed Dean's terror.

“Fuck!” Sam grunted as he retrieved a bowl for Dean. “Shit!” he spit as he grabbed some cloths to clean up Dean's mess on the floor. “Dammit!” he swore as he started to clean, noting that Dean was using the bowl for its intended purpose.

“Oh Dean, it's ok, get it all out,” Cas soothed, stroking Dean's back.

“Cas, Dean can't have a pup. Not yet. It's too soon. That's why I kept you separate,” Sam raved as he poured some cleaner on the floor.

 _No,_ Dean thought. _I don't want this. No. I cannot be pregnant. A week ago I was a mechanic and fucking immune to the virus. Now I'm having a pup? No. Not even maybe. No._

“It's ok Sam, the pup is healthy so far, I can scent it now. We will take Dean to the best doctor we can find. I know it's high risk, but it will be ok.” Cas turned his attention to Dean, who was gripping the bowl but done throwing up. “Dean? I need you to calm down. Think of the pup. I can scent that you are scared, but it will be ok. I'm here. We will take good care of you. Please Dean, calm down.” Cas kept his voice low and soothing, stroking Dean's back and hair as he spoke. He pushed Dean's water to him so he could rinse his mouth, which Dean did.

“No,” Dean finally gritted out, relinquishing the bowl to Sam after spitting water into it. “I'm not having it.” Dean stared at his lap.

The room went deathly silent. Dean didn't dare to look up. He could feel the rage building in Cas, and acceptance in Sam. 

“Dean,” Cas started.

“No. Cas. We never talked about family. We never talked about raising kids. The virus changes nothing. I don't want to be a dad. No. It's not happening.” Dean refused to look at Cas.

“I know you're scared. It's all so new,” Cas placated, “you will get used to the idea soon enough. You have what, nine months or so? And I'm not going anywhere.” Cas tried to lift Dean's chin.

Dean turned and stood up suddenly, almost slipping in the pool of water at his feet. “No Cas. It's my body. No. I'm not ready,” he declared, getting ready leave the room.

“Actually. It's not.” Cas turned the room to stone with his tone. “I am your Alpha. That is my pup you're carrying. You will have it.” Cas let the words sink in to the brothers. “But none of that matters now,” he said in a much gentler tone. “What matters is rest. Dean, you're very upset. Come on, let's go lie down on the couch and watch some movies. Maybe catch up on Dr. Sexy?” Cas stood up and slipped his arm around Dean's waist. “Sam, would you like to join us?”

Sam took a moment, shocked that they remembered he was in the room. “Um....” he glanced at Dean and saw the look on his face. Sam hadn't seen that expression in years; Dean was terrified, wanted his brother close by, but had no clear idea of how to ask for it without compromising his tough big brother persona. “Yeah, ok, I'll clean up and be right there,” he agreed while starting to put food away.

Cas led Dean to the common room to set up. They had purchased a pull-out couch around the time they started making the bunker a home. Cas made quick work of getting it ready for the three of them to lie on like a giant chaise lounge while watching TV. Sam cleaned the kitchen, then helped Cas by propping all the pillows he could find up against the back so Dean could be comfortable. Once it was ready, Cas helped Dean climb up into the middle so he was sandwiched between Cas and Sam. Cas pulled Dean a little closer, curling him against Cas' muscular side to calm Dean's trembling, while Sam did his best to project more comfort for him. They watched Dr. Sexy for Dean, as well as Die Hard. Cas felt Dean calm down a tiny bit, but his emotions were still high, swirling around the idea of pregnancy. Dean fell asleep eventually, tucked into Cas, so Cas decided this is where they'd spend the night.


	5. Fallout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has made his decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I combined two chapters here.
> 
> Trigger warning: intentional miscarriage (do NOT try this at home, please seek professional help if you are in a similar situation)

Dean woke suddenly, having to pee so bad he was sure he was about to leave a puddle. And his mouth tasted like shit. That's when the previous day slammed back into him. Pregnant. He was pregnant.

Very carefully, he extricated himself from Cas and Sam, and ran to the bathroom. He took care of business, brushed his teeth, took one look in the mirror, and started to cry again. Omega. Pregnant. This absolutely could not be happening.

“Dean,” Sam's soft voice floated over to him. Dean couldn't help himself. He cried harder and reached out for his moose of a brother. Sam was on him instantly, holding him and rocking him through his tears.

“It's a lot to process, isn't it?” Sam murmured. “All kinds of new hormones just from presenting as Omega. And now pregnant. It's got to be exhausting for you.” 

Well that just made Dean fall apart even more. He couldn't possibly explain to Sam what it was like to go from Manly Man Dean to Hormonal Preggo Dean, so he let himself be held and cry. When he was done, he wiped his runny nose and eyes on Sam's shirt.

“Ew, dude!” Sam's reprimand had no heat in it. He saw first hand how terrible this transition has been for Dean. “So, pregnant,” Sam started as he disengaged from Dean long enough to shuck his outer flannel. He offered it as a facial tissue, which Dean accepted.

“Sammy. I'm not. How can I. Just. No. It's too much. Why is Cas different? We would have talked about all this, now he's ordering me around? What the fuck man. And it's my body. I get to decide.” Dean paused to blow his nose. “....don't I?”

Sam took a moment to gather his thoughts. “Cas is different because he's Alpha. And a new Alpha at that. It manifests this way sometimes, controlling, powerful, overbearing, authoritative. But it settles down after a bit. I've seen it. Sort of like how you will settle down too. You will stop being so extreme with your emotions.” Sam kept Dean in his arms, rocking very gently side to side.

Dean looked up at his little brother. “Really?” 

“Yeah, really. It does get better. I promise.” Sam gave him a squeeze. “Do you seriously not ever want kids, or pups? Or is this just because it's really sudden?”

“Dunno,” Dean barely whispered. “I don't mind kids. But the best part of having them around is when they go back to their parents. Sam, I never even considered the idea of being a father. Not after our dad. Not with the world filled with monsters. Even now. The...Omega,” Dean spit the title out with disgust, “part of me is fighting with.....the _me_ part of me.” Dean pressed his face into his brother's shoulder to try and gain some equilibrium.

Sam was starting to wonder if this would be Dean's new home – wrapped up in his arms. “Ok. One thing at a time. You are pregnant. We need to get you to a doctor sooner rather than later. I asked for some extra time off after Reading Week so I can go with you guys, if you want.”

“That's fine by me,” Cas said, startling Dean. He'd been so focused on his own problems he'd neglected to notice Cas' scent was stronger than if he had stayed in the common room. “Dean. I'm terribly sorry for the way I treated you. Come here, please,” Cas opened his arms to Dean, who traded his brother's embrace for his lover's. “I love you. With every bit of my being, I love you. I always wanted a family but never found the time to discuss it. I'm sorry it happened so soon. But it happened. Now we have to deal with it. You will have the best care, everything you could want or need. Sam and I will see to that, right Sam,” Cas looked over long enough to see Sam nod. “It will be ok.”

“But....I like working on cars. I like my job.” Dean could feel the tears come back but he forced them away. 

“And you can work again. After our pup is in school. Or if you can't wait that long, then I'll quit my job and you can work. It will be fine, I promise.” Cas kept running his hands over Dean's back until he scented that Dean had calmed down somewhat.

“Cas....I don't want to have the pup.” Dean felt Cas stiffen up and clutch too hard for a split second.

“You will feel better about it after a good night's sleep. Having a child is a good thing. You will be an excellent father.” Cas forced himself to relax so that Dean could also relax.

Dean started formulating a plan, and it soothed him to consider all the details. He felt Cas respond well the more he calmed down, so he worked on remaining calm despite the rising panic in the back of his mind. After a while, the trio made their way to the bedrooms where they were reminded of the past week.

“So, your room needs cleaning,” Dean ventured, looking at Sam's room.

“And our room needs replacing,” Cas added.

“Let's camp out in the common room. All of this can be dealt with tomorrow. Except...” Sam hesitated.

“Hmmm?” Dean wondered as he reached for Cas' hand.

“Can you two please, oh Chuck please, take all of your toys and run them through the dishwasher? Now?” Sam begged. He could clean anything up. But he really did not want to touch any of the toys Charlie had brought.

Dean blushed at the memory of what he'd done on Sam's bed. “Sure,” he muttered as Cas let out a laugh. Cas was much less bothered by what anyone thought. He'd enjoyed his toys as much as he could, allowing that he couldn't have Dean for that period. So they separated and gathered up all the used sex toys in each room. Dean whistled at the condition of his and Cas' room when he saw it. 

“I was upset. I could feel you so deeply depressed that I wanted to go to you, but knew I couldn't,” Cas explained quietly, jostling several items in his hands.

Dean just nodded, letting Cas believe the terror in his belly was from the condition of the room, not what he was planning. 

They put the stuff in the dishwasher Dean had installed not too long ago and returned to the common room, where Sam had made the pull-out bed more comfortable for sleeping. They settled in for the night, Dean sandwiched nicely between Cas and Sam. He didn't know how Sam knew, but he felt like he needed his brother close by, like when Dad didn't return on time, or a hunt gone wrong, the brothers would always seek comfort in each other. Dean leaned more to Cas, but kept physical contact with Sam throughout the night.

~

The next day was cleaning day, for Cas and Sam. Cas ordered Dean to rest, citing that he was a high risk pregnancy and rest was best. Dean didn't bother to argue. For once, he didn't want to participate in cleaning or putting things in order. Instead he grabbed his laptop and stayed on the couch. He made sure to use an incognito window so that his searches wouldn't be recorded in the history.

Once the rooms were clean, Sam and Cas found a doctor for Dean, making an appointment a week away. Cas went in to his work to figure out his schedule now that he was feeling almost normal again. Dean called his work and confirmed that yes, he was now an Omega. There was no point in lying, they'd scent it the second he was near. He was promptly dismissed. They were gracious enough to allow Dean to make arrangements for Sam or Cas to stop by and pick up his tools over the next few days, but made it clear that they would be sold if they weren't picked up within three days. Dean threw his phone into the couch with a sharp “son of a bitch!”

“Dean? Everything ok?” Sam peeked around the corner. He'd been busy setting up his new room and pricing some furniture.

“No. I was fired,” Dean's voice broke, which just made him more angry. “I need you to grab my stuff from the shop by the end of the week.” He fought the deluge of tears that seemed to be truly bottomless.

Sam's face softened. “Yeah, sure, no problem. I'll do it tomorrow.” Sam watched Dean struggle not to cry. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Dean considered. Cas was at work, he took his adorable bicycle so Baby was still in the garage. No time like the present to get things done. “Yeah. Tell Cas I'll be home in a bit if he gets here before I get back.” Without making eye contact, Dean slammed the laptop shut and hauled himself off the couch. He checked his clothes – clean – and stamped over to his boots.

“Um...Dean? I don't think you should be alone right now,” Sam said softly, partially blocking Dean's path.

“I know what's best for me,” Dean growled as he thrust his feet into his boots.

“Dean-”

“Sam. Let me go.” Dean didn't look back, and Sam didn't physically stop him. Baby's tires left marks as he squealed out of the garage.

It felt unreasonably good to drive. Baby felt like Baby. The wind was cool and sweet coming through the open window. The road empty and inviting. Dean could almost pretend that he was back to his normal self. Almost.

The information he'd gathered online told him everything he wanted to know. His body wasn't technically his. Now that he was an Omega, it was his Alpha's choice whether or not to end his pregnancy. That enraged him at a level he couldn't even describe. It was _his_ body, he didn't need _permission_ to do anything. Fuck that.

He drove in circles for a while, building his courage. He hated everything about being an Omega, and it'd only been a week since he presented. Everything he saw online told him that he had very few rights. He could do whatever he wanted...if his Alpha was ok with it. And if he didn't have an Alpha he was considered to be vulnerable and easy prey. Never mind that he stopped the apocalypse, or had been to Hell and back, no, now he was almost property. How Charlie and Gilda did it as an Omega mated pair was a mystery to him. Actually, all of this was a mystery to him. He wouldn't admit it under torture, but the ABO Virus frightened him a great deal. And the fact that their little Team Free Will failed at stopping it outright terrified him, so he deliberately ignored the fallout of the virus. When he thought he was immune he was almost ok with the new world. Now, things were vastly different.

Before he knew it he was parked in front of the insane asylum. Once upon a time it was an actual hospital, now the insanity of it was that the building could appear anywhere, so it was always nearby when he needed it. Some kind of dimensional shift or something. 

A wave of nausea crashed through him as he thought about what he was going to do. He rode it out, breathed deep, and went inside the building.

The demons had long since given up trying to stop Team Free Will from entering the King's domain. Crowley never refused them lately. He was exactly where Dean thought he'd be – on his throne sipping whisky.

“Hello Squirrel, to what do I owe the honour?” Crowley flicked a hand and dismissed his minions. Dean waited for them to leave before speaking.

“Hey Boris. I need your help.” No point in beating around the bush or getting too sociable. 

“Well.” Crowley raised an eyebrow. As if Dean would be here for anything else. It's not like they had summer barbecues together.

Dean took a deep breath and stared at the design on the throne. “I'm Omega. I'm pregnant. I need to terminate. I did research and found you could help.”

Crowley had the decency not to laugh, and to attempt to hide the fact that he almost choked on his whisky. “I don't see a baby bump. Must be early on?” Dean gave one single nod. “I can't help, sorry,” was all he offered.

“Why?! You do this for anyone else! Come on! I thought we had something between us,” Dean sounded whiny to his own ears. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Can't or won't help.”

Crowley gave the impression of thinking about it. “Won't. Do you think I'm stupid?”

Dean gave a half shrug.

“I'm insulted,” Crowley insisted, sounding anything but. “Listen. If you're Omega, then your little angel is probably Alpha. Am I right?” He waited for Dean to nod. “And if I help you out, don't you think Castiel will contact his angel brothers and sisters?”

Dean sagged in resignation. There was a tenuous peace treaty between those above and those below. Crowley had a valid point. Crowley, who was luckily immune because he wasn't human. “Please?” Dean tried, knowing full well it was futile. If Cas even found out that he was here, asking this, then the world would be plunged into a war...again. 

“Sorry love,” to his credit, Crowley looked genuinely apologetic. “I will make sure nobody knows you were here.” It'd been a while since he killed demons for fun, he started conjuring up unique ideas on getting rid of the ones that saw Dean. This would be a good excuse to let some frustrations out. “Be careful now. You're delicate,” he said by way of dismissal.

Dean turned to leave, wanting to scream that he was the very opposite of delicate. Then it hit him. “I ain't some delicate flower Crowley. Just pregnant.” God those words sounded weird in his mouth. He waited to see if he was right about what Crowley was saying.

“Hmm. But you are. Overdoing things, like taking too hot of a bath, can cause problems with your pup. Especially if you are new to being an Omega. Lots of rest now, you hear?” Crowley picked up the tablet near his throne and gave it his full attention. He pretended he didn't see the thoughtful look on Dean's face as he slowly turned away to leave. 

Dean made it outside on autopilot. He got in the car without thinking. He kept his mind blank on the drive back to the bunker. He deliberately did not think anything as he parked his car. He absolutely did not acknowledge what he was doing when he stepped into the bunker and headed towards the bathroom. He checked on Sam and found him napping, having become exhausted from taking care of Dean and Cas for the week.

When he got to the bathroom he finally exhaled. He stripped down and shoved his clothes into the laundry basket as the tub filled...with hot water only. He stuck his toe in the water as the tub filled....and noped right out again. He added a tiny bit of cold water, took a deep breath, then climbed in and sat down as quickly as possible. 

He knew it would be hot. He knew it would hurt. He was not prepared for the searing agony surrounding his genitals. It took everything he had to keep the scream inside, eventually letting out a silent cry with his mouth stretched as wide as it could. He sat for what felt like a small eternity, wondering when and if he would know it worked. The very second that he felt the little spark inside of him snuff out, he drained the tub and crawled out. He made the most painful crawl of his life, unable to stand on his burnt legs, over to the shower. There, he managed to reach up and turn the water on, just as his body began to eject the dead tissue and blood. So much blood. The cool water felt divine on his toasted lower half and almost made up for the horrible cramping in his belly. One cramp twisted inside him so intensely that he lost his breath. When he could inhale again, he heard himself scream as the world greyed out.

~

“Dean! Dean!” Sam's panicked voice brought him back to reality. “Thank Chuck. Dean. You're bleeding. A lot. We have to get you to the doctor.” Sam was barely done talking when Cas exploded into the bathroom, having just come back from work.

“Dean!” Cas yelled. “I scented your distress! De-” Cas suddenly stopped, staring at Dean's lower belly. “Our pup,” he whispered in a tiny voice, “it's gone.” Cas fell to his knees heavily, taking Dean's head in his lap. “Oh Dean,” Cas wailed, clinging to his Omega.

“Cas, we should get him to a doctor.” Sam took over. Years of dealing with triage told Sam that Dean was able to travel, if they could get him to the car. He considered an ambulance, but knew it would be faster to just drive to the nearest urgent care centre. He spied a robe on a hook – Charlie or Kevin must have left it there when they helped with Dean's heat and Cas' rut – he grabbed it, turned off the shower, and wrapped Dean up. “Pick him up,” Sam ordered, already fishing for his keys.

Cas did, and followed Sam to the car. Sam helped Cas get Dean into the back seat before going to the driver's door, almost ripping it off when he opened it. Cas stayed in the back with Dean, they made it to the doctor in record time.

Thankfully, it wasn't busy and Dean's bleeding put him first on the list to be seen. Cas helped Dean into an examination gown while the nurse lined the table with absorbent pads. “The doctor will be in right away. Get up on the table, on your back please,” she instructed before leaving the trio.

“Dean? Do you want me to wait outside?” Sam asked kindly. 

“Stay,” Dean managed to whisper while not letting go of Cas. Every movement caused a new gush of blood, a new burst of guilt, a new wave of relief. He saw the look on Cas' face as he scented the relief, so he studiously stared at the ceiling until the doctor arrived.

The examination was quick and confirmed a miscarriage. While the doctor informed Cas about aftercare, Sam ducked out to the car to retrieve the extra clothes in the trunk. When he got back, Dean was slowly sitting up and being shown some sanitary pads. 

“All right. That about does it.” The doctor's attitude had cooled considerably during the exam. “Follow the instructions and your Omega should be fine,” the doctor told Cas. “And don't bring him back here. We don't take Omegas that do this kind of thing.”

Dean's belly turned to ice. Cas' gaze sharpened on the doctor. Sam was mystified. “What do you mean,” Cas asked in a dangerous voice. No one talked about Dean like that.

The doctor sighed heavily, put out by having to explain. “Your Omega did this on purpose. All evidence points to him sitting in extremely hot water for a prolonged time. It's not the first time we've seen this kind of thing with Omegas. I suppose he should be considered lucky that he didn't lose his own life in the process. Get him out.” The doctor didn't wait for a response, just turned and left.

Nobody moved. The room felt as though a nuclear bomb had gone off. Dean deliberately shut himself down inside to prepare for Cas' reaction, but nothing could have helped. When Cas caught Dean's eye, Dean felt his bladder let go in fear at the look on Cas' face, adding to the mess on the pad beneath him. “Cas,” he croaked, “I-”

“Don't. Even. Speak. To me.” Cas now understood the guilt and relief he'd scented in the car. Dean murdered his pup. Cas didn't say another word, just turned and left the room.

A sob broke out of Dean's lungs. The full reality of what he'd done hit him all at once. While he didn't regret it, not at all, he understood he'd acted rashly. Pity permeated the air. When Dean moved his eyes he saw it was from Sam. He fully expected Sam to leave as well and was rocked to his core when Sam retrieved some paper towels from the dispenser, wet them, and gently washed the blood from Dean's legs before helping him into the tattered underwear and sweatpants from the trunk. Sam even made sure the pad was positioned properly in his undies before tucking the robe around him again. Sam gathered up the sanitary pads the doctor had left, found more in a drawer under the exam table and helped himself to those as well. Then he led Dean to the door where they found the nurse waiting.

She showed them to the rear exit, making sure to inform them of how shameful Dean's behaviour was, and how despicably he'd treated his Alpha. She glared at them until they stepped through the door into the back lot with the garbage bins. The latch of the door closing was the loudest sound Dean had ever heard.

Sam slowly led Dean to the car and got him into the passenger seat. Dean scented the air for Cas, but to no avail. Wherever he went, it was nowhere nearby. Sam drove them home, helped Dean to the couch and covered him in a blanket. He gave Dean a single, tender pat on the head, before putting the pads in the bathroom and sequestering himself in his new room, leaving only when he sensed Dean needed something. Dean realized Sam hadn't spoken a single word since before the examination.


	6. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam tries to help Cas understand things from Dean's perspective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sam the supportive storyteller.

Dean recovered very slowly, Sam not allowing him to do anything more strenuous than go to the washroom for a while, even then, not without supervision. Honestly, Sam would have preferred that Dean to simply use a bucket or something instead of walking the vast distance between the couch and the bathroom. Sam had done extensive research on Omegas that miscarry, and learned that Dean was in the tiny percentage that didn't die alongside the pup. It would have been safer to carry the pup to term and have a complicated delivery than to miscarry so soon after presenting.

Sam took a leave of absence from teaching so he could be available to Dean 24/7. He retrieved Dean's tools from his old job, cleaned the blood from Baby, and answered any questions that Dean asked. Sam found that it was easier than expected to force Dean to rest, much of the time he was sleeping anyway as his body healed from the miscarriage as well as the self-inflicted burns to his genitals. Sam privately applauded the first time Dean was able to pee without whimpering and crying.

Never once did Sam bring up what Dean had done, never once did Sam look at him with blame, never once did Sam offer any comfort to Dean. Instead he cooked meals until Dean felt ready, cleaned until Dean took over, and gave Dean as much space as he could without ever really leaving him alone. New furniture was delivered, as were groceries for a while. Sam fixed Dean and Cas' old room – storing all the weapons without telling Dean where they were – even though Dean slept on the couch for a while. He shoehorned Dean off the couch and demanded that he sleep in his own bed at the beginning of his second heat. Some things were just better in the privacy of a room with a closed door, Sam had witnessed enough the first time around, thank you very much. Sam lived on high alert for a while after Dean moved back into his room. He would surreptitiously scent the air for signs of Dean slipping too deep into a depression again, as well as peek in on him while he slept. It took a while, but Sam eventually became confident that Dean would not harm himself.

When things were really bad for him, Dean sought his brother like a moth to a flame. Sam never refused him, but never offered it either. He would let Dean climb into his bed and press into his side, usually crying softly until he fell asleep. Eventually, Sam would turn over, sometimes facing Dean and sometimes not, but always kept physical contact during those nights.

Dean dealt with his heats like everything else: he ignored it until he absolutely had to deal with it. Dean found that his body would take care of business whether he liked it or not, giving him wet dreams all night. He would wake up sticky, horny, and depressed. He took to jerking off like he did attending to his bladder and bowels, necessary and without much pleasure at first. After a while he would get off thinking of Cas and only Cas, making use of the toys from Charlie. With each orgasm, he would have to fend off a tidal wave of guilt, shame, and loneliness. It was tiring, but he was getting used to it.

The heats weren't nearly as bad as the first one, especially since Sam found another doctor for Dean and got some suppressants. They worked ok, the heats were still there but far less intense. The birth control was a bit more finicky. It took several different trails before finding the one with the least side effects. Sam had to fight tooth and nail to even get them for Dean, and Dean respectfully acknowledged Sam's struggle with the medical profession over the issue. If he had an Alpha, then his Alpha could have obtained the prescription without preamble, something that reinforced Dean's bitter resentment over his new Omega status.

Their friends checked in, speaking to Sam as Dean refused all calls and stayed in his room if there were visitors. Dean eventually asked Sam if he'd heard from Cas, as he was positive he could smell Cas through the drunken haze when he woke in the middle of the night. Sam informed him that Cas had been by, deliberately waiting until Dean was passed out, and collected his things. Dean checked their room and confirmed Sam's story. Sam decided not to tell Dean about how Cas stood over Dean's intoxicated and unconscious body that night, staring at him, filling the air with a strange mixture of longing and rage.

After several weeks, Sam felt Dean was ok to leave alone so he returned to work for the final bit of the school year. Dean encountered obstacles he never even considered, like how Alphas would frown on him being an unmated Omega. They would block his path, scowl at him, and even call out slurs. The service he received in restaurants and bars was less than polite, unless he was with Sam, so he stayed home when he could. Finding another job was incredibly difficult so he resigned himself to being Sam's house-husband for now; cleaning, cooking, paying bills online, and doing laundry. He even found a supermarket that didn't mind having Omegas shop alone. While the selection wasn't the best, it was better than the sick feeling he got at other places.

For a long time, Dean would call or text Cas, but he never answered and never returned any texts. Dean kept it up for a while, the texts at least, giving him random tidbits he thought Cas might enjoy about what new recipe he'd made or how pretty the flowers were near the bunker. Eventually, he stopped when it became too painful to stare at his silent phone and wait for a response.

Dean found a group of Omegas online and found some comfort that he wasn't the only one that had to adapt to such a drastic change. He secretly searched for other hunters in the same situation, finding a few, but discovering it was too depressing to contact them. One day simply bled into the next without Cas to brighten them up. 

~

Sam was relieved to return to work, even if the winter term was just ending. Luckily, he had some courses to teach in the summer term. The lighter course load was a good balance for being available for Dean and getting out of the bunker. It was a good distraction to teach students and grade papers. He followed the news to see how the laws were changing to accommodate the new A/B/O statuses, but while there may be laws there was nothing regulating people's behaviour. He watched in agony how some people treated Dean and did everything he could to protect his brother from those people. 

Their friends heard about Dean's Omega status and asked after him. A few Alphas came nosing around, Sam sent them on their way. If Dean wanted to date, he would date. He overheard gossip about how Dean terminated his pregnancy, the nurse at the clinic must have spread the word, and it twisted him up inside. Eventually, people gossiped about new and interesting things, leaving Dean alone.

On the days when Sam taught and the weather was agreeable, Sam would take his lunch to a nearby bench. Sometimes he would also sit there for a while after work, just so he had a bit of time alone before going home to Dean. One day, without any warning, Cas sat next to him. Sam waited for Cas to speak first, and it was a long wait.

“Dean stopped texting me,” Cas admitted softly.

“I know,” Sam responded, equally softly.

“I miss him.”

Sam simply nodded.

They both scoured the horizon like it held the answers to the questions they never asked. “I can't...what he did...”

“Stop,” Sam commanded.

Startled, Cas actually turned to look at Sam full on, and waited.

“I'm going to tell you a story, and you're not gonna say anything until I'm done,” Sam informed him. Cas nodded slowly. Sam watched people walk by and began to talk.

“There was once a little boy whose mother died a horrible death. This boy was thrust into a world where monsters were real, and there was no room to be anything other than a hunter to find and kill these monsters. He became a man while he was still a boy. He picked up a gun and shot a beast at the instruction of his father. He protected his little brother from all the evils of the world for as long as he possibly could.” Sam gave a small laugh. “His brother did not appreciate what this young man had done, and instead resented both him and their father for a long time. The young man had to drag his brother into the world of monsters. Not because his brother was at risk, or because their father told him to, but because he was afraid. He was afraid that unless his little brother was nearby, he'd lose him, similar to how their father had gone missing for a time. Eventually, their father died, the younger brother joined his older brother in hunting, and they rid the Earth of as many bad things as they could.”

Sam brushed a tear away and kept going before Cas could speak. “One day, the young man was brought back to life by an angel. He was literally dragged from Hell to continue his work. That angel became so much more than a saviour over time. The younger brother watched his older brother fall in love. Not the kind of silly, teenage lust, or heart-eyes adoration, but a deep and profound kind of love that developed into an unbreakable bond. Eventually, much, much later, the angel and the brother figured out that they could actually be together. As a couple, sexually and intellectually.”

Sam paused again, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves. “So here were these two brothers, growing up in each other's pockets, thinking that love was something to be had by other people. Naive people, ignorant to the horrors that lurk inside their closets. These brothers were often mistaken for a couple, their movements so in tune with each other as a result of seeing and experiencing things that nobody should be subject to. Those brothers could sense everything about each other without even trying. Some thought it was creepy, others thought it was soulmates. None of that mattered, they had each other. Until this angel gripped the older one tight and raised him up.

“The angel fit into the brother's lives with surprising ease. The older brother, as I said, fell in love. Eventually their love was requited, the angel fell and became human, and now there were three fighting alongside each other. They fought battles big and small, important and irrelevant. Until the one battle they couldn't win. A battle over the tiniest thing, a microscopic virus, that turned out to be the largest enemy.

“Eventually, the team of three succumbed to the virus against their will. Powerless to stop what was happening, they tried to accept it and make a new life from it. Well, one did. The other two had a more difficult time. All because of perception.

“Before, the older brother was a strong, confidant man. He had faults, we all do, but he was a pillar of independence while somehow reliant on his brother to exist. Then, literally overnight, his world was upended. He woke to find he was no longer a force to be reckoned with in the world, instead he was plunged into a world of submission. Everything that had been true about this man was now contradictory to his new existence. Everything from his independence to his biology changed suddenly and forcefully. Then, just when he thought he could possibly learn to manage his new situation, the unthinkable happened. He was infected by a parasite.”

Cas took a breath to respond, Sam glared at him until he shut his mouth.

“In the world this man had previously known, what was happening to him was the result of possession and forced symbiosis. He was terrified. Not afraid, not fearful...absolutely...ball retractingly... _terrified._ All of this had happened in less than a week, far too sudden for him. So he fell back on his instincts. Instincts that had been honed from the age of four. Instincts that saved the people he loved. Instincts that ran his world. He dealt with the parasite. He understood almost immediately that his behaviour was not in line with this new world. In the process of trying to regain control over his universe, he destroyed everything he'd built with the one person he allowed himself to love unconditionally, other than his brother.”

Sam paused, long enough for Cas to wonder if he could comment. Before Cas could form a word, Sam caught and held his gaze for a solid minute before continuing. “I will stand by Dean. No matter what. I don't have to agree with what he did. I don't have to like it. But he is my brother. He is my world. I will help him adjust to this new way of life, with him kicking and screaming if necessary. And I will not allow him to be hurt more than he has been already. Do you understand?”

Cas held Sam's eye and gave a single, sharp nod. “I......need some time,” was all Cas could offer.

“You have it. Take as much time as you want. Do not, I repeat, do _not,_ interfere with Dean's healing unless you are ready to accept him completely, and move on from this point forward, letting go of the past.”

Cas nodded again, stiff and contrite. Without another word, Sam picked up his messenger bag and walked away.


	7. Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now it's Cas' turn to tell a story, and hopes for some reconciliation with Dean

Sam struggled, a bit more every day, with the guilt of not telling Dean that he'd spoken to Cas. But he didn't want to get Dean's hopes up, or leave him in limbo as to how Cas felt. So every day Sam would make a point of going to his bench and sitting for a while, hoping Cas would drop by. It had been a little over a week since he'd last seen him and was informed that he needed space. Sam could have sent a text, but chose not to, thinking Cas would contact him when and if he was ready. So Sam was only slightly startled when he approached the bench and saw him already sitting there.

“Cas.”

“Sam.” Cas waited for Sam to settle into his seat. “I've been thinking a great deal about your story. May I tell you a story in return?”

Sam considered it. “May I record it for Dean?”

“Yes,” Cas replied without hesitation. 

Sam fiddled with his phone, found the voice recorder, turned it on, and nodded to Cas.

“There was once a soldier in heaven. He was part of a garrison, as soldiers often are, and followed orders. Many of his orders involved destruction, but he didn't mind. He was only doing as he was told, and he did it well.

“One day, he was given the strangest order; to raise a soul from Perdition. He questioned this order. Unlike the others, it involved direct contact with a soul. When he was assured this order was in fact correct, he carried it out as he did with all orders; efficiently. But it had an unexpected consequence. 

“The soul he raised was bright and he became attached to it, and to the human to which the soul belonged. He began to question more and more orders and received unsatisfactory answers. The more he was with this human, and his brother, the more he wanted to be around them. The more he wanted to make the world good for them. The more he disobeyed. In a futile attempt at disguising his intense connection to this human, he led those around him to believe he was trying to improve heaven, rather than admit the truth, which was that he would move heaven and earth to be with this soul.

“This soldier knew how this human felt about him long before the human knew. It was one of the benefits of having the ability to hear his thoughts. Except the soldier didn't understand what was happening. His vessel still had a soul of its own, and that confused the issue for the soldier. He didn't know if his feelings were his, or the vessel's. Then the vessel's soul found his place in heaven, and the vessel became the soldier's alone. 

“Things became very difficult for the soldier. He honestly believed he was doing a good job, being a good friend, showing this wonderful man that he was valued. Mostly, he believed he'd failed, except this man kept wanting him around, so the soldier stuck around. And he was rewarded with this man's affections.

“The soldier of heaven thought long and hard about his relationship with the human. He agonized over the choices that were presented to him. Ultimately, the soldier decided to become a fallen angel so he could live his life with the human, at the same rate as the human.

“And the soldier was content with his choice. It was a difficult transition, but he had the support of this wonderful man and his brother to guide him. He joined his new family of two brothers in fighting battles, vanquishing evil, hunting. Until one day the soldier was hurt so badly he almost ascended to his place in heaven for all eternity. 

“After careful consideration, he and the two brothers stopped trying to rid the world of all evil. They focused instead on building a day-to-day life of love, structure, and caring for each other. The battle they'd recently fought and lost didn't seem to affect them greatly. Until it did.

“One morning, the soldier's beloved woke to find he was, in fact, infected. This didn't bother the soldier at all. He would take this man in any form, in any way, in any circumstance. But this man was not at all happy with this random occurrence. The soldier tried to comfort his beloved, but instead the brother was where this beautiful man sought peace. 

“The soldier was hurt, but he understood. The bond between these two brothers was something the soldier had never before witnessed. And never since. While this was all happening, the soldier began to feel different. Powerful. Aggressive. Dominant. Suddenly he understood, he was also infected, opposite to his beloved.

“For him this was a non-issue. He'd had to reflect these traits while in his garrison. It was a surprise, he'd thought that if the virus changed him, he would be submissive. But he also accepted the change at face value, much the same way he accepted falling from grace at face value. He knew there would be a significant adjustment period, and genuinely believed their love would conquer all. He did not take into account the concept that his own physiology was changing as well, which was altering his thought processes without his consent.

“The new hormones that raged within the two of us overrode everything else and we were separated by the brother. I could think of nothing more than wanting to be with Dean, to remain in his orbit.” 

Cas didn't notice Sam's eyebrows knit together at the change in perspective in his story. 

“I believed, fully and completely, that I could provide Dean with strength, comfort, and protection. I wanted to hold him and shield him from everything bad that was happening. At the same time, I had an _overwhelming_ urge to breed. A very distant part of myself recognized that this new part of me was what Dean needed protection from. That perhaps, _I_ was the danger in his world. Unable to come to terms with that concept, I forced it away and focused on doing my best to adapt to my new situation. To try to learn how the new hormones were effecting me. To learn to integrate this new Alpha status with my reasonably new human status.

“Breeding had never been an issue before that very moment. I did, occasionally, consider what it would be like to raise a child with Dean. But the topic got pushed away before it got raised. Dean didn't seem partial to the idea, and I didn't want to change what we had. So I never brought it up, never talked about it, and accepted my life as wonderful with both Dean and you, Sam.

“When I felt the rut was almost gone, I left the room. My intention was to take a shower, take stock of my newfound desires and attitudes, and meditate. I....ordered....Kevin to step aside when he blocked my path. This was my first mistake in a string of errors. I, foolishly, believed I could control myself and was ready to be let free.”

Cas hung his head and stared at his hands that dangled between his knees.

“As I passed the room Dean had been in, I was bombarded by the most delicious aroma I'd ever scented. My Dean. By the time I entered the shower room, my higher reasoning was disabled in favour of being near Dean. When I saw him, I acted, my body behaving without my mind, and.....mated him. I wouldn't call it lovemaking, or sex. It was mating, pure and simple. It was then that I was fully aware that my hormones were directing the rest of me, but I....well....I still believed I could control myself. Even in light of my obvious error in judgment.

“Very quickly, Dean's pregnancy was evident. I was at war within myself. I was overjoyed at the prospect of offspring. I was horrified that I was actively dismissing Dean's feelings. The new Alpha part of me was directing me to protect my pup at all costs. Including, apparently, the cost of not fully listening to the man I love.

“I convinced myself that we would find a middle ground. Balance. Equilibrium. Something of that sort. I believed I was being helpful and attentive in providing Dean with support and love during his pregnancy and in the rearing of our pup. I now understand that I was being controlling and overbearing. At the time, though, I really believed I was simply strong and protective.

“I believed he would eventually see the pregnancy as a good thing, once the shock of it wore off. I could not conceive of any other option. None. It had not even occurred to me that Dean was deadly serious in his attitude of not wanting to continue his pregnancy."

Cas huffed a breath, dangerously close to crying. He let a single sob escape before regaining control. 

“When Dean. When he.” Cas paused again to breathe for several minutes. “When the pup was lost, I was devastated. Something I'd only had for a brief time was ripped from me, and I blamed Dean. I didn't consider how he felt, or what he was going through, or what an appropriate course of action would be. I simply reacted. Abysmally. I had to leave. I had to learn how to deal with such strong inclinations to breed, control, and dominate the man I love. Because in that moment, I knew if I hadn't left, I would have done something so horrific I would not have been able to continue living with myself. So I called upon every atom of self control I could, and I left without harming Dean.

“As time wore on, I learned how to reconcile my new Alpha tendencies with my human emotions. It was difficult, but I believe I have made great strides in a more positive direction, mostly due to Dean.

“Every day I would think about how terribly I'd treated the person for whom I'd given up my world. Every day I took stock of my new inclinations. Every day I put considerable effort into becoming the Alpha that Dean deserves. Someone who is protective and loving, dominant without being controlling. Every day I pondered how, exactly, I could re-enter Dean's life after I'd.....after what I did. And whether or not I deserved to be a part of his life again.

“With each passing day, it became more and more difficult for me to initiate contact with Dean. I was unsure of how to approach him in a manner that would leave him open to seeing me. I did not take care to explore how Dean felt about his new situation. I left him when he needed me most. I am deeply apologetic about my actions. I will accept any punishment he deems necessary in order for him to feel safe around me.”

Cas paused to wipe his eyes and gather his courage.

“Please. Sam. I am asking for your help. Please....assist me. Please let Dean know that the next time he contacts me, I will respond positively. But I need for him to come to me. I need to know he is ready to....even look at me. I do not wish to make matters worse by invading his space too soon.”

Sam waited, but Cas didn't offer anything else so he ended the recording and slipped the phone into his pocket. Next to him, Cas startled, he'd forgotten he was being recorded. “I'll ask him to listen to this,” was all Sam could offer. It wasn't up to him to make promises for Dean and what Dean would do after listening.

“Thank you. For everything.” He paused again, wiping his eyes, weighing whether or not it was too much to ask after Dean. “I assume....that you have been taking care of Dean in my absence.” Cas saw Sam nod slowly. “Is he....doing well?” Cas unconsciously held his breath while his eyes leaked.

“I would have told you the instant he was not ok,” Sam said gruffly. “It's been hard. But he's healing slowly. Being an Omega is very difficult for him. He needed you.” Sam watched Cas deflate and flinch at that. Cas crumbled and started to cry in earnest, barely getting a hold of himself in order to be coherent.

“If Dean...if he....if....if he d-doesn't....w-wa-want me....in his life.....please Sam, p-please, please t-tell me. Let me know....s-somehow....I will d-do anyth-thing for him......even if th-that means l-leav-ving him alo-ne.......please...”

Sam made no move to comfort or reassure Cas. “I will let you know if that's the case,” he agreed, knowing full well that Dean would take Cas back in a heartbeat, but he didn't see any reason to tell Cas that. It was up to Dean to let Cas know how he felt. “I have to go,” Sam decided, and so he left, looking back to see Cas slumped on the bench, shoulders shaking, and his hands covering his eyes.


	8. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean hears Cas' story, and as much as he wants to believe Cas would take him back, he still has doubts.

Sam ate his supper slowly. Picked at it, actually. He was trying to figure out how to tell Dean that he'd met up with Cas. Twice. “Good salad,” he commented so he could get a feel for Dean's state of mind.

“Thanks,” Dean mumbled. “Know how much you like rabbit food.” Dean pushed his own salad around on the plate a bit. The lasagna turned out very well, and while Dean was loathe to admit it, the salad was a good accompaniment. 

“Lasagna is excellent too. You're a really good cook, Dean,” Sam told him, genuinely meaning it. Dean always had a flair for assembling meals with limited ingredients. Now that he was home all the time, he spent a fair bit of time online searching for new recipes. Nothing complicated or anything, but definitely meals that were different or interesting to add to his usual rotation of dishes that they both liked. Not to say there hadn't been failures. There were some epically uneatable dishes that Dean had created. Those nights they fell back on sandwiches to fill them up. Sam watched Dean push a bit of lettuce through some remaining tomato sauce on his plate as if his fork was surfing without enthusiasm. “Um. So. I saw Cas,” Sam rushed.

Dean snapped his head up at the same time as jerking his hand. He didn't notice his fork hit a little grape tomato which bounced, rolled across the table, and fell on the floor. “How is he?” _Does he miss me? Does he hate me for what I did? Does he want to see me?_ Dean's mind raced while he waited for Sam to answer.

“He's...good. All right, I guess. I....um....told him a story about you, and how you were adjusting to being an Omega. How different and frightening it's been.”

Dean bristled at that. He wasn't afraid. Not anymore, anyway. “What, _exactly,_ did you tell him?” Dean asked, his voice laced with warning. The last thing he needed was Sam somehow making things worse. Although, anything might be better than the horrible silence he was currently dealing with from Cas, he conceded to himself.

Sam retold his story to the best of his memory, watching Dean's face twist and crumple as he spoke.

“Accurate. I guess,” Dean grunted, grudgingly admitting to himself that Sam pretty much hit the nail on the head.

“He told me a story in return. I recorded it for you, so if your interes-”

“When can I hear it?” Dean asked, his dinner completely forgotten.

“Now, if you want. Here,” Sam pulled out his phone and found the file. “I'll clean up in here.”

Dean barely heard him, he muttered 'thanks' while practically running to his bedroom. Dean closed the bedroom door, sat on the bed and pressed 'play'. As he listened to Cas tell his story he cried silently. When the recording came to an end, Dean listened to it again, and again. 

The weight of what he did, and how Cas felt about it, pulled Dean back down from whatever cloud he was resting on as he listened to Cas' voice. He hadn't really considered how Cas would be overrun by hormones. He was aware of it, he sensed the difference, but he hadn't put much thought into what it must have been like for him. 

Without really thinking about it, Dean slipped his boots on and sought out his brother, finding him with his nose buried in a book in the library. “Hey...uh....” he held the phone out to Sam, who took it back gingerly.

“Everything ok?” Sam ventured, taking in Dean's shining, red, swollen eyes.

“Yeah...um....going for a drive. I need to-” Dean's voice cracked so he shut himself up.

Sam just waved his words away and nodded with understanding. He knew Dean well enough to know that driving around on empty roads cleared his mind and sorted his thoughts. Sort of like what jogging did for him. 

Dean rubbed his eyes roughly when he saw the look on Sam's face – goddamn Omega hormones filling his tear ducts constantly – and wondered what he could possibly do to show how thankful he was for everything Sam had done. Coming up with absolutely no idea, he simply said 'thanks' and tried to pour as much meaning into it as he could. He realized his efforts must have changed his scent because he was suddenly engulfed in his giant brother's arms, Sam standing quickly when Dean wasn't looking. Dean let himself be held, tried not to leak too many tears onto Sam's shirt, and squeezed him just as hard back. “Turning into a chick flick here,” Dean warned in a reedy tone.

“Yeah, you love it,” Sam smiled into his brother's hair. He felt more than heard Dean's chuckling. 

“Shut up,” he mumbled without any heat. Dean wouldn't admit it with a hundred years of torture, but yeah, he really did kind of love the attention, the caring, the safety, the warmth, and the concern that all seemed to stem from being held by Sam, especially since he presented.

“All right,” Sam started, releasing Dean. _Drive safe, don't do anything stupid, come back in one piece,_ he thought. “See you in a bit,” he said out loud. Dean just nodded and went to his car.

With nowhere specific in mind, Dean drove around the lesser used roads. He let himself feel the condition of the road through the tires as a form of meditation. He deliberately kept his mind from thinking about Cas' story, or how he could have handled his situation differently, or really how they could have won the battle against the virus. Everything seemed to stem from that one, major failure. 

Dean discovered he could smell the greenhouse Cas worked at before he saw it. Maybe because scents were easier for him to detect, maybe because they had particularly pungent flowers ready for sale. Either way, he followed his nose and drove around the property of the greenhouse, even though he knew it was closed, as a way of feeling near Cas. When he was ready to leave the area, he took the road that led away from the bunker, having never really been down it before. After a sharp turn, Dean found himself in a little pocket of the city that he hadn't known existed. 

There were lots of little shops around, the kind that look sort of like dollhouses. The sidewalk was made up of those squiggly reddish bricks, making the path uneven but strangely inviting. As he sat at a red light, the streetlamps flickered to life, drawing Dean's attention to the old fashioned style of them, like they could use candles instead of bulbs. _Cas would love this place,_ he thought as he heard a tinkle of bells on his right. When he glanced over he saw it was a small cafe, and sitting at one table was Cas.

Dean's stomach plunged to his feet as all the air left his lungs. Cas was sitting, reading a book with a cup of something in front of him. Dean watched as Cas looked up and smiled at the server as she deposited a massive muffin in front of him, then return to his book. _He looks tired and lost,_ Dean thought briefly. A gentle toot from a scooter's horn behind Baby reminded him that he was supposed to hit the gas now that the light was green. Refusing to think of the consequences, he drove down the block, found a parking spot, and made his way to the cafe.

The little bells tinkled when Dean opened the door. He watched Cas raise his head a tiny bit and sniff the air, then whip his head in Dean's direction. “Dean!” Cas half-rose from his seat, his face a mixture of hope, shock, confusion, and love.

“Hey Cas,” Dean motioned for Cas to sit. “Can I uh, can I sit?” Cas nodded eagerly, hand flapping to indicate the chair across from him. The server appeared before he could settle in, so he ordered coffee and a slice of pie while he thought about what he wanted to say.

Thankfully, Cas spoke up first. “You will like the pie. When I would bring home pie after work, I would get it from here.”

“Yeah?” Dean let his mind drift in time to when everything was right in the world. Back to what it was like to wake up with a sleepy Cas. Back to movie nights with the three of them. Back to driving the open road as the sun went to bed. Back to when the last thing he saw before succumbing to sleep was his boyfriend, warm and cozy in their bed. Cas' nodding brought him back. They looked at each other awkwardly until the pie and coffee arrived. To delay talking some more, Dean took a bite of pie, moaning a bit around it. Cas was right, he liked it. 

“Did you....did you know I was here?” Cas asked slowly as he tucked a bookmark in his book and closed it, marvelling at how fast Dean was eating his pie...and how his lips looked pressing against the fork. Cas immediately squashed those kinds of thoughts. There was no guarantee that Dean would still want him that way. Or any way.

Dean just shook his head, not able to form words yet. He gulped some coffee and blurted, “just driving. Saw you in the window. Couldn't help it.” He stared into his coffee cup as if it could tell him what to say to make everything better.

“Did....I've run into Sam. On purpose. He- um, I uh...” Cas trailed off, not sure if this was the best start. Suddenly his muffin was very interesting to him.

“He let me listen to it,” Dean mumbled, trying to build the courage to apologize. He didn't even know where to begin, not really. So rather than make a fool of himself, he ate more pie. Out of the corner of his eye he watched Cas pick at his muffin with his beautiful fingers. _Good lord he smells good,_ Dean thought before he could stop himself.

“Dean. I'm so sorry. I should have been more attentive to you. More aware of how you felt.”

“I- what? No Cas, I should be apologizing to you. I shouldn't've....” Dean couldn't finish. He didn't want to lie, he'd terminated his pregnancy on purpose, without a thought to anyone else. He wasn't sorry he did it. He moved to take another bite of pie but saw the plate was empty.

“Dean,” Cas waited for Dean to actually look at him, even for a second. “I've been working on how to deal with my anger about what you did.”

Tears threatened Dean again, for what felt like the millionth time. _Maybe sitting here was a mistake,_ he thought. “Cas,” he grit out. “I couldn't....just....no. It was too much. Everything.....Omega....”

“You don't have to explain. Sam did an excellent job of that. I was at fault for reacting so badly when you needed me most,” Cas said in the most understanding tone Dean had ever heard.

_How can he be so kind_ , Dean wondered. He fought the wave of self loathing inside him. “I may never be able to bear pups because of what I did,” he blurted, part of him hoping Cas would outright reject him now, since he knew that's what he deserved.

The silence thickened the air between them. Dean refused to look at anything other than his coffee cup. Cas stared in shock at the top of Dean's head, unsure what to say or how to react.

“You should....you should find someone. Who can give you pups. Who wants to give you pups. Someone that-” a sob broke out of Dean as he felt the aura of sadness around Cas. 

“Dean,” Cas said softly as he placed a hand around Dean's wrist. Startled, Dean met his eye. “The only person I want to be with is you.”

He turned his wrist so he could hold Cas' hand, hoping it wasn't going to be the last time he ever got to do that. “....even....after.....what I did....” 

“Yes Dean. Even after you aborted my pup.” 

Dean thought that was a particularly cruel way of wording the absolute truth, but he was in no position to argue. “How will you ever....be able to look at me and not hate me?” he whispered, eyes dropping to his lap.

Cas squeezed his hand until Dean looked up again. “I have already been working on putting it behind me. The moment I saw you in the doorway of this cafe, that very moment, nothing else existed for me. All I saw was you. And I haven't felt that good in a while.”

Dean nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He desperately wanted to get back together with Cas but he was far too overwhelmed with how horribly he felt he'd treated Cas, so he settled for middle ground. “D'you wanna....can you....come over for dinner tomorrow? Just me'n you?” He looked up to see Cas beaming.

“I would love to. I'm off at six, will that be all right?”

_As if I have anything better to do other than stare at the clock,_ Dean thought. “Six is good. I'll, uh, make the burgers you like. And we can, um, talk some more.” He shifted uncomfortably, feeling the need to leave and organize his thoughts, try to figure out what was Omega and what was him in how he felt.

“I would love that, thank you.” Cas watched Dean, acutely aware of his discomfort. Rather than draw the visit out, Cas decided to continue with his evening as if Dean had not stopped by to see him. This way, he reasoned, Dean could have some time to process everything. “I don't intend to be rude, but Gabriel will be here to pick me up right away, I've been staying with him lately.” Cas let go of Dean's hand so he could reach for his wallet.

“Oh, yeah, no problem. I gotta get back to Sammy anyway, here, I can pay for mine,” Dean also reached for his wallet, ridiculously grateful for the distraction.

“No need.” Before Dean could offer again, Cas was tucking some bills under his cup. “There's Gabriel,” Cas nodded towards the door. “Tomorrow, shortly after six?” Cas stood up and gathered his things.

“Yeah, tomorrow,” Dean also stood up, wondering if he should take the opportunity to kiss Cas.

Cas decided for him, he leaned into Dean to give him a light hug. Dean hugged him back, dropping his head on Cas' shoulder in the process. He smelled so good, all Dean wanted to do was bury himself in Cas' neck and live there, where he couldn't screw anything up. Cas hugged him back firmly, placing a light kiss on Dean's cheek as he disengaged. Cas let his fingers brush Dean's as they walked out the door, and gave a little wave as he got in the passenger side of Gabriel's tiny car. Dean waved back, fighting the intense longing to grab Cas and never let him go, at the same time as thinking Cas would be better off without him.


	9. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has Cas over for dinner in hopes of repairing their relationship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's really difficult to repair things when hormones get in the way.
> 
> Trigger warning: mention of attempted rape

The next day, Dean woke in a light panic. Cas was coming over for dinner and Dean wanted to make sure everything went well. He tried to focus on planning the meal, but his body kept derailing him. Every thought of Cas brought a new burst of slick, a new craving to be filled. So after tossing and turning, he finally reached over to the nightstand and found his favourite toy. He made sure to drag out his onesome as much as possible so that he was thoroughly rid of any hormones. He then made sure his room was neat and clean...just in case...not that he was planning on having sex with Cas right away....not really....but just in case.

Dean showered, dressed, and caught up to Sam in the kitchen, who saw him put his toy in the dishwasher.

“Ew, dude, does that have to go in there right now?” Sam wrinkled his nose at Dean.

“Like you don't put yours in here,” he retorted and was rewarded by the pinkness in Sam's cheeks.

“At least I put them in at night, jerk.”

“Bitch. Take me to the store,” Dean tried to ask as he closed the dishwasher door.

Sam gave him bitchface #42, although he'd been expecting the request. Last night Dean was positively brimming with joy at having Cas over for supper. “I'm still eating breakfast. Saved some for you,” Sam waved towards the oven. 

Dean peeked in and saw the plate of food warming. He turned the oven off and pulled the plate out with an oven mitt and sat down to eat. “Thanks.” Dean started in on his breakfast. “Need some supplies from that good grocery store,” he said around pancakes.

Sam just nodded. He knew Dean shopped for the two of them at a store that didn't mind unattended Omegas, but the selection wasn't the best. He also knew it killed Dean to ask to be accompanied anywhere. It was a huge step down, a massive loss of his independence, to need a Beta or Alpha to go certain places. There was no way Sam would ever refuse, Dean knew that, but it was hard to ask.

“I'm glad he's coming over,” Sam said, knowing how much Dean has missed Cas. “It will give you guys some time to talk. Maybe work things out.”

“Yeah. Well.” _I deserved it when he left. No doubt about that. Can't even imagine why Cas would want to be here. Not after-_ Dean slammed the door on his thoughts. “What....um...what time will you come home tonight? Just so I know. Y'know, not that...um...just-”

“I'll find somewhere else to spend the night,” Sam interrupted. “That way you don't have to worry about a timeline or anything.”

Dean's shoulders fell away from his ears in relief. “Thanks,” he exhaled.

Sam nodded. “I just have afternoon courses today, so we can go to the store when you're done eating. Oh, and Dean,” he waited for his brother to actually look up from his pancake mountain, “ _you_ load the dishwasher when you're done. I'm not jockeying dishes around that thing,” he gently teased, gesturing towards the machine.

It was Dean's turn to blush slightly. He muttered 'yeah, yeah' and let his mind skitter over any final chores that needed to be done before dinner, as well as what else they should pick up while Sam was accompanying him. He figured they could eat out for lunch and he could drop Sam off at the university and still have time to clean up the bunker before Cas arrived.

~

Everything was ready. Dean had showered again, put on his best clothes, cleaned the public parts of the bunker, and assembled dinner. He was absolutely not pacing near the door, nor was he startling at every tiny noise. Nope. He was the very model of patience and calmness. In his mind, anyway. In reality he hadn't strayed farther than a few feet from the door since he first went up the stairs. He was just about to check his phone for the time when he caught the faint scent of Cas. Acting on autopilot, he flung the door open to a very startled Cas, who recovered first. “Waiting for me?” he teased.

Dean huffed a laugh and agreed shyly. He didn't know if he should hug Cas, or kiss him, or what, and ended up staring at him until Cas asked if he could come in. 

“Uh...yeah, 'course,” Dean stepped back to give Cas room, accepting a pie box with a smile. “Brought dessert?”

“Well. I know how much you like the pie from the cafe. This one is apple.” Cas hung his coat up while Dean tore his eyes away from how good Cas looked in his jeans and deep blue button down shirt.

Cas, for his part, was almost overwhelmed by how good Dean smelled. He had to pass him the pie box in order to stop himself from kissing Dean senseless right in the entryway. He reminded himself that this was only dinner. Nothing more. They weren't together. He was the one that left and he should consider himself lucky to even have dinner with Dean. Maybe Dean wanted to go slowly. He also took note of the fact that Dean's outer flannel looked new, his t-shirt fit beautifully under the flannel....and oh heaven above did those jeans fit well.

They made their way downstairs and into the kitchen, Cas following Dean on purpose to watch him walk. Dean took the pie out of the box and set it in the oven on a low temperature so it would be warm after dinner, then began to cook the burgers. Cas sat down at the table, wanting to give Dean enough space to feel comfortable. After a bit of stilted conversation they finally relaxed around each other enough that the ground didn't feel quite as much like cracking ice. 

“So you kept your job at the greenhouse?” Dean asked as he flipped the burgers and set the salad on the table.

“Yes, they were kind enough to keep me on when they found out I was an Alpha. They weren't sure about how I'd be around the Omegas that shop in the front.”

Dean offered Cas a beer, which he gratefully accepted. “And how have you been around Omegas?” 

Cas shrugged a bit and picked at the label on the bottle. “Good. If it becomes a problem I excuse myself to the back and work with the plants instead of the customers. But that has happened only a couple of times. Not that they should fear me, but their scents are...distracting. And in one case, oddly repulsive.” Cas' face scrunched as he remembered how one woman smelled. He actually had to fight to be polite to her, which he felt was disconcerting. It was then that he realized his world had shifted drastically, that he was judging people based on their scent without really being aware of what he was doing. “Most Omegas don't go out near their heat, I suppose.” He watched himself peel the label some more after taking a sip of beer.

 _Got that right,_ Dean thought as he absently scooted the patties in the pan with the spatula. A memory of the last time he went out near his heat threatened to come back, so he forced it away as best he could.

Cas' head snapped up. “Dean. Your scent changed. Will you tell me why?” Cas did his best to tamp down the flood of urgency to protect Dean from whatever made him smell so wounded and scared.

Dean looked over at Cas, who was gripping the beer bottle so tight his fingertips were white. “Not sure you wanna hear it.” The look on Cas' face told him that he wasn't going to move on until he heard what Dean had to say. So he sighed and played with the burger patties some more. “I went to a liquor store, thinking that nobody could smell me. I was wrong. The suppressants weren't quite working yet. Anyway, guy comes outta nowhere, drags me into the alley next to the store, and pins me against the wall, all before I could figure out what was happening. I mean....who does that? So. He starts telling me that I smell good. That I must be wanting him. That I must be ready for his-” Dean cleared his throat and fiddled with the patties. “Anyway, he was really strong and I was still....shocked? I guess? He held my arm behind me while he pushed my face into the brick wall. He tried to-” Dean's voice broke so he flipped the burgers unnecessarily and took a deep breath. “When he...um....tried to pull my pants down...I....well I freaked out. I got free, dislocated his shoulder and broke his jaw. People saw, stood and watched, but did nothing. I stopped going out near my heats after that.” Dean squished the patties with more force than was needed.

“Dean I am so sorry,” Cas choked out. Somewhere deep inside Cas filed away the information about the suppressants. It made sense that Dean was on them, it could certainly make the heats better from what he understood. It also explained the slight difference in Dean's scent that had been worrying him a bit and hadn't known how to ask about.

“Nothin' to be sorry about. Wasn't you,” he said dismissively. It was a humbling, humiliating experience that he'd rather not remember any more. The patties were done, so he brought them to the table and began assembling the burgers. Cas tucked in to his immediately, complimenting Dean's cooking profusely.

“Thanks, I've been practising. Sam's my guinea pig.” Dean sat a little straighter, pleased that Cas was enjoying his food.

“You look well,” Cas complimented around a mouthful of beef.

“It's all the damn salads. Sam gets all bitchy if there isn't some kind of green thing on his plate.”

Cas gave a little laugh at that. “Have you been working?” Cas asked as casually as he could.

“No. Got fired when I called in. Same day that I...um....same day.” Dean paid a great deal of attention to his food, making sure it didn't fall apart in his hands. He glanced up to see Cas on the verge of tears.

“I shouldn't have walked out on you like that,” Cas admitted very quietly. 

“It's done now Cas. Can't go back,” Dean responded gruffly. “Besides. I. Killed your pup. I deserved to be walked out on.” Dean gulped hard. He was not going to cry, or beg for forgiveness. What was done was done. Instead he reminded himself that he was incredibly lucky that Cas even agreed to dinner.

“Dean. If I didn't have my head so far up my ass, as Gabriel so helpfully put it, then I would have been more in tune with how difficult your transition was on you.” Cas closed his eyes at the wave of failure that crested over him. He had been carried along by his own new hormones that he didn't even consider that Dean would be anything other than happy at the idea of a family. “It was....my biology....that made me leave that day. It was like I was watching myself. The old me wanted to hug you until the pain went away. But this new Alpha part of me was going to hurt you....severely....and I couldn't abide by that.”

They ate in silence for a few minutes. Dean hadn't really thought about how Cas' transition went. “How...um....how is it different? Being an Alpha. If you want to share. You don't have to.” Dean shut up before any stupidity fell out of his mouth.

Cas tilted his head while he sucked some grease off his long, sensual finger. Dean watched Cas' tongue slip down and Cas' cheeks hollow a bit as he sucked. Cas suddenly caught his eye and smiled to himself. Dean realized Cas could probably scent the burst of arousal from him. “Well, at first I didn't mind. I've been in a position of power as an angel, so it wasn't much different. I rather liked it. I did not like how I suddenly felt as if....as if I owned you.” He popped the last bite of burger in his mouth while he waited for a response.

“Owned me,” was all Dean could murmur. It upset him that he liked the idea.

“Yes. Before the virus we were a couple, equals. Then, suddenly, I felt like you were mine and mine alone. 'Possessive' is a good word.” Cas ate a bit of salad. “How was your transition?” he asked gently.

“Well. You know I was upset.” Cas nodded quickly. He remembered waking to Dean's howling at his first heat. “After the heat passed, and after the....after. I found out I couldn't go to some places without Sam. I hated that. People who used to know me as a hunter now saw me as...I don't know....useless?” Dean stuffed the last of his burger in his mouth so he wouldn't talk any more. Cas remained silent, so Dean swallowed and continued. “My emotions are everywhere, and I can't control them. And now I can't hide certain things. Like my scent. Like my heat. 'S embarrassing sometimes.” Dean shifted slightly, wondering how much Cas would want to hear. “This one time, Sam and I were watching some show and a character looked a bit like you,” Dean felt the blush spread over his cheeks at the memory, “and I got turned on. _Really_ turned on. With no warning. Anyway, Sam could smell it and I saw it kinda turned him on too.”

“That must have been awkward,” Cas laughed with understanding. Aroused Omegas did smell very good, and it was occasionally uncomfortable to be aware of it. Although in his opinion nobody even compared to Dean's scent. He felt a flash of protectiveness that someone else got to be anywhere near Dean when he was aroused before sternly reminding himself that he was the one that broke things off, and therefore had no right to feel that way.

“It was. Very.” Dean squirmed in his seat a bit. “Want some pie?”

“Yes, please,” Cas was smiling ear to ear. “You're right. I can scent your arousal. But it is neither strong nor unpleasant,” Cas assured him hurriedly. “Would you like me to put these dishes in the dishwasher?” Cas began collecting the plates.

“Sure. Thanks.” Dean turned the oven off and took the warm pie out, then remembered that he hadn't emptied the dishwasher from breakfast. “NO! I mean....just leave them in the sink,” he said weakly when Cas put his hand on the dishwasher handle. 

Cas' startled expression was erased by a slow grin. “Dean,” he asked with a great deal of amusement, “what's in here?”

Dean cleared his throat, a matching smile stretching his lips. “Something that kept me entertained earlier.”

“Oh? Was it...satisfactory?” Cas dragged his fingers over the handle slowly.

“Did the job.” Dean realized his pants were becoming tight. He was mesmerized by how Cas was pressing the pads of his fingers onto the handle, slipping his thumb under it. “How about you. Keeping yourself....entertained?” he taunted Cas. Part of him was screaming that it was too soon, that Cas may only be here to test the waters and see if he still wanted to be together. The other part of him was shrieking that those nimble fingers should be put to good use.

“Oh yes. A lot. Not at first,” his hand faltered on the handle. Cas made his way to the sink and set the dishes down gently. Dean backed up automatically to give him room, and felt the counter dig into his lower back. In an effort to not grab Cas, he grabbed the counter behind him. “I was too depressed. But when I picked up my things, I stole your shirt.” Cas stepped into Dean's personal space. “I kept it in a bag so it smelled like you for a long time. I would hold it to my nose while my other hand was.........occupied.” 

Dean tried clenching everything to stop the burst of slick from flooding his boxer briefs. “Cas,” he whispered, studying his lips. 

“Dean,” he breathed, stepping impossibly closer. One hand came up to cup the back of Dean's head, the other rested lightly on Dean's hip. “May I...”

Not trusting himself to speak, he simply nodded as Cas brought his lips to Dean's. And it was _glorious._ The first touch of Cas' lips sent shivers down Dean's spine, leaving a ball of electricity hovering in his pants. Cas pulled away just enough to return with his mouth open a tiny bit more, making Dean whimper with need. When Cas nudged Dean's mouth open enough to allow his tongue to enter Dean's mouth, Dean moaned long and low. He could taste the beer and burger on Cas' tongue, along with the earthy flavour of lettuce. Just when he thought he was going to get lost in the sensation of Cas' firm mouth claiming his, Cas pulled away.

Cas was having a very difficult time. From the moment he scented Dean in the cafe he'd been wanting to taste every bit of his bare skin. He wanted to watch Dean's eyes roll back with every touch, he wanted to feel Dean quiver with need, and cry out with pleasure. He could smell the arousal on Dean, and it was starting to derail his higher reasoning.

Cas turned his face away and looked at the pie, dropping his hands from Dean and leaning away. Dean watched as Cas took two fingers and slid them into the warm dessert. “I would stroke myself,” he said absently as he slid his fingers almost all the way out of the pie before plunging them back in, “and imagine it was you.” He lifted his fingers, taking a bit of pie with them. Very slowly, he brought the pie to Dean's lips.

Dean forgot how to breathe. He managed to gulp some air while maintaining the death grip on the counter behind him. Cas was so close that Dean could see the pores on his skin. He opened his mouth and accepted the pie, closing his lip around Cas' fingers. As Cas withdrew them, Dean sucked gently. The moan that came from Cas' mouth went straight to Dean's privates. That burst of slick got the better of him, dampening his underwear, which seemed to make Cas moan harder.

“There must be some things you like about being an Omega,” Cas rumbled, his voice low and husky. He slowly pushed his fingers back into the pie, scissoring them a little, finding a chunk of apple. “You used to like it when I took charge,” Cas pinched a bit of pie between his two fingers and thumb. “I seem to remember you enjoyed playing a bit with the....as you put it....'Dom/sub thing'.” He drew the chunk away from the pie and back to Dean's mouth. “Be a good boy and eat your pie,” Cas ordered, firmly but gently.

Dean just about came in his pants. His chest was heaving, causing his hard nipples to scrape against his shirt. He opened his mouth obediently, taking in the pie, groaning at the sweetness on his tongue from both the pie and Cas' fingers. As he chewed, Cas dragged a sticky finger over his lip. “Good boy,” Cas whispered. Dean swallowed and let out a sound that was suspiciously like a breathy whine. He sucked the stickiness off his lip while staring at Cas' glittering eyes. 

“Caswegottatalk,” Dean burst out before he could lean in and kiss Cas until his lips went numb. Cas immediately backed up a step, sucking in his breath. He waited for Dean to get a hold of himself, praying that he hadn't gone too far and that Dean wasn't going to send him on his way.

“Cas. I can't. If we do this. If we.” Dean raised his eyes to the ceiling to try to find the right words. “I need to know. Before we. Is this. Is it one time?” was the best he could come up with.

Cas almost collapsed in relief that Dean didn't ask him to leave, then thought about what Dean might mean. To distract himself, he wet a cloth and cleaned his fingers. “Have there been others?” He asked carefully, thinking that he was being terribly presumptuous in thinking Dean had remained chaste while they were separate. “I mean....is there someone else that I need to....compete with?” A spark of jealousy found its way into Cas' thinking. He dropped the cloth back into the sink with the thought that he would fight with everything he had in order to be Dean's mate, if necessary.

“No. There were some Alphas that showed interest, but Sam sent them away. I. I wanted to. Sometimes. During my heats. But I couldn't,” Dean admitted. He raised his hand to fiddle with his collar, eventually showing Cas his claiming mark was still pristine.

“Oh,” Cas whispered in reverence. He stared at the base of Dean's neck near the back of the shoulder. He felt his cock leak a burst of precome into his underwear at the sight of Dean baring his neck like that. For just a second, the only thing Cas could think was how it would feel to sink his teeth around that mark and permanently show the world who his mate was. “I haven't either. I didn't even try,” Cas spoke so softly Dean could almost not hear him. 

When Dean turned his head he saw Cas staring at the mark, so he stroked it with his finger. Cas immediately cupped the front of his pants and squeezed. Dean felt his legs liquefy at that sight. “This is for you, if you still want me,” Dean dragged his fingertip over the mark again, just to hear Cas' breathy moans.

“All for me? Nobody else touched it yet?” Cas started working the front of his jeans as if his hand had a mind of its own, staring at the mark.

Dean's insides froze. He couldn't lie, Cas would scent that. “Only Sam. And me.” He covered the mark again and returned his hand to the counter. His arousal seemed to start packing up to leave. Until that very second, he hadn't considered that it might be wrong to let Sam touch his mating mark.


	10. Talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean clear the air about a few things in order to take steps to repair their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the roller coaster of emotions.

Cas paused, tipped his head, and moved his hands to his hips. “Sam?” he asked sharply. He wanted to be calm and supportive, but just the thought of Sam's hand on Dean's mark ignited something ugly inside of him. It was fine as long as it was hypothetical, but as soon as Dean said someone else had touched him there, Cas discovered he may not be in control of his emotions as well as he thought.

“Not....not like that. Cas...I-” Dean snapped his mouth closed before he could make things worse.

Cas could feel the anger rise tremendously quickly. Ok, maybe less 'anger' and more 'jealousy' if he gave himself time to think about it. Suddenly he thought Dean should not be subject to his more negative emotions until he could get a better handle on them. “Maybe I should go,” Cas turned to leave without further explanation.

Dean's legs didn't work right away. Cas got to the common room before Dean caught up. “Cas. No, Cas, please. Let's talk. Cas,” he begged, grabbing onto Cas' sleeve.

Cas spun around, dislodging Dean's hand and making him back up a step. “Sam?” he asked again, voice as cold as ice. Cas did his absolute best to stem the tide of jealously that was rising so he wouldn't frighten Dean. Intellectually, he knew there was no threat with Sam. But his brain wasn't communicating with his emotions at the moment.

“It was an accident. At first.” Dean tried to explain. “I was crying, for like the thousandth time, and he was trying to comfort me. His hand brushed the mark....and it felt good.” Along with all the other changes to his body, he now had a small bundle of nerves under the mating mark. “After that...I let him....touch it. I always calmed down so much faster that way.” Dean ducked his head to hide his embarrassment. “It was nice to be touched, even if it wasn't for sex. Cas, I can't explain it.” Dean raised his head to meet Cas' eye briefly. “Since I presented, I just seem to need more physical contact. And it's not sexual. Sam just....rests his hand on the mark.” Dean could feel the tears start to fall. “I like it,” he admitted in a tiny voice. He could feel the possessiveness come off Cas in waves.

Cas tried to calm down and really hear what Dean was saying. He did not like the concept of someone else touching his Dean like that. Not. At. All. He had to remind himself that they weren't together because he was the one that walked out. Cas hadn't claimed him yet, so he had no right to what Dean did. None of that changed the massive storm of jealousy and possession swirling inside him. “Did he touch you anywhere else,” Cas asked dangerously, well aware that the answer would inflame him. Dean's hesitation did not help the situation.

Dean wiped his eyes and fought the tears away. “...I sleep in his bed sometimes,” Dean confessed, “with him.” He couldn't stop himself from cringing at the rage coming from Cas.

“I think...I need to go,” Cas said between clenched teeth.

Dean shocked himself down to his toes when he found his old assertiveness, and told Cas no. The incredulous look on Cas' face would have been hilarious if he was some character on TV instead of the real, live man standing in front of him. “You can't just leave every time you get angry. Cas, we need to work it out if we are going to be together.” Dean suddenly realized they'd made no such promises to each other. “D-do you want to be together?” He asked hopefully.

Cas pushed his hand through his hair. “Yes. I want to be with you. I want to be your mate. But I don't know how to control my feelings. I really did believe I was doing better with that.” Every word from Cas' mouth sounded like a huge effort for him.

Dean's heart swelled in spite of Cas' tone. _He wants to be with me. Even after what I did. He still wants me._ “I can't get a handle on mine either. Maybe....maybe we can work on that together? Help each other? Maybe it would help if you just...talked? Sam always makes me talk, and I always feel better. So....talk to me?” Dean suggested.

Cas felt his temper flare at Sam's name. He spun around so Dean wouldn't have to witness the battle in his features. “Dean,” and with that first word, he broke the dam, “I don't like anyone touching you like that. It's personal. It's private. It's intimate.” He turned back around to face Dean. “I don't care that he's your brother, it's wrong. Before my presentation I had no problem with it. I saw how you two were raised. I saw the world you lived in. I saw the results of how your father treated the two of you. I get that you are....a unique pair. But the Alpha in me is raging Dean, _raging_. And I don't know how to stop the jealousy. I want to take you in my arms and keep you there. Safe. Away from harm. That also means away from Sam. I see him as a rival now. I can't help it. You even carry his scent. I don't know how to look past it. I want to be with you, for the rest of my days, but I don't know how to stop being so angry. I want to....put Sam in his place. Remind him that you are mine, that you are my mate, that he no longer has a hold over you. This is all new to me too Dean. I thought we were immune. I didn't understand what people said when they felt like the hormones changed them. I understand now. I am still me. But I am also Alpha. I want you. I want to make the world understand that you are mine.” Cas stood, panting from the effort, hands on his hips, seeming to wait for Dean's reply.

Dean was reeling from the onslaught. A tiny voice in his head kept chanting _he wants me he wants me he wants me._ “Um. I don't know if it helps, but there is nothing between me and Sam. Nothing like what we have,” Dean waved between the two of them. “I just....I needed someone.” Dean gave a sad shrug and fought not to stare at his feet.

Cas' anger smashed against a wall of disappointment in himself. Of course Dean needed someone to help. And it should have been him, except he failed. He wiped his mouth as if he could physically remove what he'd said from his lips.

“I think...I think a lot of what you said...might be better when you claim me,” Dean started. “That is...if we are a couple again....I read that claiming calms the Alpha's instincts or something. You s-said that you wanted to be with me, so I'm just assuming you'd want to cl-” Dean couldn't finish as he was very suddenly pulled into a crushing hug.

“Yes! Yes, Dean. I want to be a couple again. Yes I want to claim you, but only if you want it too,” Cas said as he tried not to squeeze Dean too hard. For reasons he couldn't quite define, Cas found he calmed down quickly while he held Dean. It was like Dean had somehow managed to find the plug and pull it so all his anger drained away.

“Want it too,” Dean mumbled. “Never stopped loving you,” he added as he relished the feeling of Cas' strong arms supporting him.

“Me either,” Cas returned. “I mean-”

Dean let out a low laugh. “I know what you meant.” They stood for a moment in each other's arms, hands carefully pressing, gently rubbing, and slowly stroking each other's backs. 

“We still need to talk about some things,” Cas advised, gently disentangling himself, “before our hormones get the better of us.” As much as he wanted to reduce Dean to shivers and groans, there were still things that needed to be said.

Dean reluctantly agreed and led Cas to the couch, holding his hand as if he'd run away otherwise. They sat down, close but not too close. Dean didn't know what to say so he waited for Cas to speak first.

Cas thought for a moment, trying to find the best way of structuring his words. “I need to have a discussion with Sam. To let him know that there are some boundaries now, that I don't think were there before we presented.” He seriously hoped that conversation would go well, that Sam would be receptive to the idea of Cas pointing out when he felt Sam and Dean were too close for his comfort...and Sam backing off. The relationship between those two was difficult to define, and Cas knew that he was adding confusion to the mix by being more assertive about it when he hadn't been before the virus.

Dean exhaled, long and slow. He shifted in his seat, backing up into the corner so there was a bit more room between them. He folded one leg and put one arm up along the back of the couch, fingering the throw blanket that was draped there. He didn't want to think about Sam right now. He knew their relationship wasn't like other brothers, but it had never been a problem before.

“What time is Sam expected to return this evening?” Cas asked as kindly as he could in order to prevent Dean from shutting down too much.

“Uh,” Dean cuffed the back of his neck, “not till tomorrow, actually.” He waggled his eyebrows at Cas and blushed. “Not that we have to have, um, sex, but he wanted to give us space. You know?”

Cas tipped his head back and laughed. “I brought condoms just in case. Same thinking, I suppose.” Cas turned so he was facing Dean directly. He put his arm up on the back of the couch so he could interlace his fingers with Dean's. “Which brings us to my next concern,” Cas kept his face pleased so as not to spook Dean.

Dean braced himself, tightening his grip on Cas' hand. Cas had every right to tear into him about his intentional miscarriage, about how the decision should have been mutual, about how it could have cost him his life, about how foolish he'd been, about how selfish he'd been. He was so shocked by what Cas said, that he had to strain to understand.

“I know for certain, now, that you don't want pups,” Cas started. “I put you in an impossible situation by mating with you in the shower without fully garnering your consent. I want you to understand that I will take every precaution needed to prevent pregnancy in the future. We can go to the doctor for birth control as soon as you are ready. I've done some extensive research on the matter. There are a lot of brands available to try. From what I've read it will be reasonably easy for us to procure if I am with you. I understand that may not be....ideal....having me speak for you to a doctor. But it is certainly the most effective way to get you a prescription. I will leave the choice completely in your hands, whether you want to try birth control or use condoms. But I will not have unprotected sex with you. Not again. I love you too much to lose you.

“Also,” Cas continued to a very shocked Dean, “it will be up to you to tell me if you feel differently in the future. I'm not saying I expect that you will someday want a family, I'm saying that I'm open to it if you are. I will not pester you. I will not cajole you. I will not try to change your mind. But....if you do.....I will welcome the opportunity to raise a child with you. If you don't, then I welcome the opportunity to spend the rest of my life with you by my side.” Cas exhaled and waited.

Dean felt the tears slip out as he sat in awe of what Cas would do for him. Alphas were known to be much more controlling with their Omegas. He'd read many, many posts online from Omegas who were forced into taking birth control until their Alpha felt ready to have pups. New condoms had appeared on the market, specifically designed to hold the sheer amount of ejaculate that Alphas now produced, but many complained of loss of sensation or the inability to feel their Omega's slick. To leave the decision to the Omega was almost unheard of. Suddenly, Dean thought that this was his Cas all along; kind, considerate, and caring. He let the rush of shame crest over him for thinking anything different of Cas.

When he recovered enough to speak he said, “first, it wasn't against my consent in the shower that day. Not at all. It was really quick though,” he tried to joke. Cas blushed furiously and nodded in agreement. “Second, I, um, I'm on birth control. Sam took me,” Dean waited to see if Cas would get angry at the mention of Sam again. There was a brief flare, but Cas fought it back and won. “It was hard to find a doctor, but we did. I tried a bunch of different kinds, and settled on one. I've been on it long enough for it to be effective. That, combined with the possible damage from my......abortion......will make it so that there will be no surprise pups.” It was Dean's turn to exhale and wait for a response.

Cas' heart broke at the thought of how difficult it must have been for Sam and Dean to find a doctor willing to treat Dean without an Alpha or mate present. And, on top of that, what it must have been like for Dean to have even more foreign chemicals coursing through him with each different trial of birth control. Cas wiped his eyes and cleared his throat. “I will have to thank your brother for taking good care of you,” he admitted quietly, then inhaled deeply. “That must be what is different about your scent,” he said with wonder, “it's the birth control. I can tell the difference if I concentrate.” Cas furrowed his brow while scenting the air again. 

“Is it....bad?” Dean tried to prepare himself for any disgust from Cas.

“No! No, not at all,” he soothed, much to Dean's relief, “just...different. More of a chemical undertone maybe? It doesn't interfere with your natural scent, more like....compliments it,” Cas decided. “If I concentrate, I can almost tell the difference between the suppressants, birth control, and you,” Cas murmured with wonder at his newfound olfactory abilities. “So....if you are on birth control, would you like to stay on it or go off of it?” Cas asked, then quickly corrected, “I mean, would you prefer I used condoms so you don't have to keep taking them?”

Dean thought about it for a beat. “I'd...like to stay on it. I, uh, I want to be....in control of it. Ok?” He shifted a bit in his seat, vaguely uncomfortable at having to actually put that into words. 

“Yes, of course that's ok,” Cas practically gushed. “I want whatever makes you most comfortable. From what you've told me, you have been feeling very _out_ of control lately. So yes, of course, your body is yours. You make any decisions about yourself, just like you would if you'd never presented as Omega. I don't believe that....that I have any right...to tell you what to do. I just wanted to be clear about the issue. ”

Dean let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding while he ran his thumb up and down Cas'. “You really have done a lot of research,” he acknowledged.

Cas huffed a breath and suddenly looked shy. “Gabriel....assisted. He was appalled when I showed up on his doorstep and explained why I was there. He made sure to point out the number of years you and I....left things unsaid....and how I could lose you permanently. He and I spent a lot of time yelling at each other until I calmed down enough to see how right he was. Then I threw myself into figuring out how to adjust.” Cas chased Dean's thumb with his own as he spoke.

“I guess I'll have to take the time to thank your brother for his help,” Dean smiled. “Send him a candy basket or something.”

That got a belly laugh out of Cas. “Oh, he'd love that!” Before he could stop himself he leaned forward to their joined hands and kissed Dean's fingertips, smiling at the thought of Gabriel bouncing up and down at the sight of a candy basket. When Dean lifted one finger, Cas automatically sucked the tip into his mouth and was rewarded by the enticing aroma of Dean's arousal. Cas pulled back quickly, he had one other issue to clear up. “Dean,” Cas paused, unsure how to phrase his question, “...I need to know. And please forgive me if this is impolite to ask, but when was your last heat? I am having...trouble...resisting you.” Cas adjusted himself discreetly with his free hand.

Dean blushed yet again and internally cursed this new quickness to pink cheeks. “Not impolite if we're a pair, Cas. My last heat ended a week ago.” He watched Cas' hand press on his bulge with tiny movements. A small huff of air escaped his lungs at the same time as he dampened his underwear...again. Suddenly, Dean's pants were becoming extremely uncomfortable...again. “Kinda....wanna.....” Dean flattened his free hand on his thigh and lifted his hips slightly, pushing his jeans down slightly to make some room before sitting down again. “Havin' a hard time here too,” he said, oblivious to his own pun. “Sorta feels like I have a third ball dropping or something. 'M horny and can't blame my heat,” he shrugged, hips rocking gently into the cushion to get some relief for his aching hole.

Cas allowed the relief to surge through him that he wasn't just drawn to Dean because it was his time of the month. It was getting extremely distracting, watching Dean's plump mouth form words when it could be wrapped around his cock. Or smelling Dean's slick, trapped in his pants instead of dripping down Cas' chin. Cas' own hand started squeezing himself in time with Dean's rocking. “Dean....I need you,” he panted.

“You can have me,” Dean decided. In one swift, smooth movement he shifted so he was straddling Cas' lap and facing him.


	11. Claimed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I could have ended the story at the last chapter....but smutty porny porn....

Before Dean could fully settle on Cas' lap, Cas adjusted his positioning for maximum friction....and was rewarded by Dean slowly rolling his pelvis into his. Cas let out an ungentlemanly whine at the feeling of Dean's arousal pressing down on his own while he rolled his hips to match the pace. His hands found Dean's thighs and for a beat or two he just relished in the feeling of his muscles working before sliding his hands up to Dean's hips.

Dean let himself get lost in the sensation of Cas undulating below him for a moment. When Cas' hands started travelling to his hips, Dean clutched Cas' shoulders and leaned in for a kiss. He was greeted with Cas' hot, wet, open mouth latching onto his. Dean's tongue immediately sought out and found Cas'. As Dean slid his tongue around Cas' he felt a hot burst of slick try to escape. In his efforts to hold it back he lost his grip on Cas' shoulders, one hand flying to the back of the couch while the other wove through Cas' hair. He felt Cas' hands slip under his shirts en route to his nipples, which stiffened significantly in anticipation of being touched. Dean's hips stuttered along with his breath as his body fought his mind and tried to loosen up and lubricate the area in preparation. As soon as Cas' fingers brushed across Dean's nipples, Dean cried out and clenched his butt hard to keep from making a mess.

Cas noticed Dean's efforts and hoped he would relax and enjoy himself, but when it was evident that it wasn't going to happen, he slid his mouth to Dean's ear and whispered, “what's wrong? Are you ok?” He dropped his hands to Dean's hips to slow his rutting while he tried to catch his eye. “Dean?”

It took a moment for Dean to remember how to talk. “It's just...embarrassing. I'm.....wet....can't control it...” Dean felt himself blush. Even though Cas was holding his hips in place, Dean still found a way to grind down on Cas.

“Dean,” Cas ordered softly, “look at me.” He waited until Dean did as he was told. “This is going to sound remarkably crude, but I find your slick a _huge_ turn on.” Cas rolled his hips up hard, making Dean gasp. “I want to be _soaked_ by you. I want to make you so wet you are _dripping_ all over me.” Cas shoved one hand up Dean's shirt to pinch his nipple while the other hand shot up to Dean's neck to stroke the claiming mark. Dean promptly lost his battle with his body, his rim fluttered around nothingness as he relaxed and let the wetness pour out of him. _”DEAN,”_ Cas bellowed as his hips started rocking in earnest. “I want to lick the slick from you, coat my hands with it, _rub it everywhere,_ ” Cas growled as he pinched and stroked Dean's nipple and mark.

So Dean let his body do what it wanted, and soaked through his boxers and jeans, certain he'd never been this hard in his life. As much as he wanted to run his hands all over Cas, he was having difficulty doing anything other than hold on while Cas' magical fingers did their thing. Suddenly, Dean realized he wanted to be as naked as possible, thinking that the denim would provide fantastic friction on his very wet hole.

Dean whined as he scrabbled at the button on his jeans, finding the mechanism to be extraordinarily difficult to manage. Cas picked up on what he was doing and started shoving his shirts off. “Naked, need you naked on me. Rub your slick all over my clothes,” Cas grunted. Dean won the battle with the button and zipper then lifted his arms for Cas to yank his shirts off and fling them to the floor. Dean stopped to allow a massive shiver to barrel through him at the feeling of the air on his oversensitive skin. He then shoved himself off Cas' lap only long enough to shimmy out of the rest of his clothes before climbing back on top of him.

The very second Dean's naked body sat on his Alpha, Cas started running his hands over Dean's torso and rolling his hips up into Dean again. Cas looked down at their laps and moaned loudly at how Dean's cock was leaking all over his shirt, and how warm and wet his lap was getting now that there was nothing blocking the slick...and how he was starting to contribute to the mess from his side by leaking a significant amount of precome into his underwear.

The feeling of the rough denim was as magnificent as Dean thought it would be. The way it caught and dragged between his cheeks, the way it felt sinful that he was naked while Cas was still fully clothed, along with the way the head of his cock brushed the fabric of Cas' shirt and left a trail wherever it touched. And Cas' hands...instruction manuals should be written based on how Cas knew exactly how much pressure to apply and where, when to stroke or pinch his nipples, as well as the _mark_. They way Cas' thumb kept brushing over it was driving Dean insane with the need to feel Cas' _mouth_ surround it right before his _teeth_ would sink in and mark Dean for life. Mark him as _Cas'_.

Dean realized he was making some very loud noises as he ground down on Cas. He couldn't stop the roll of his hips, the thrust of his pelvis, or the way his hands fisted Cas' shirt. He kept trying to get his hands to obey his commands to stroke Cas, touch him anywhere, but every time he managed to lift one hand off Cas' shirt, Cas would twist or drag his fingertips on Dean's skin which made Dean clutch at Cas again. When Cas surged up to seal his mouth on Dean's, Dean managed to get one hand in Cas' hair while the other found a new bunch of shirt fabric to grab. What Dean lacked in hand action, he did his best to make up with his mouth. He put every ounce of enthusiasm into tangling his tongue with Cas' and pull as many filthy noises from his Alpha's mouth as he could. The feeling of Cas' mouth on his also reminded Dean that he had another orifice that should be filled with Cas _immediately_ if possible, so he started riding Cas like he could somehow get that cock in him even though it was still trapped in jeans.

Cas was losing control very fast. The scent of Dean's slick was making him light-headed with the need to bury himself inside, but he didn't want to give up his writhing Omega on top of him just yet. As a compromise, he slid one hand off Dean's nipple in favour of slipping it between his cheeks and into Dean's glorious, hot, wet hole. Dean lost the ability to kiss, crying out instead and instantly pounding himself down on Cas' hand. Cas' mouth sucked and kissed its way down to Dean's neck, dangerously close to the mark, his hand leaving the bundle of nerves to wrap around Dean's back to hold him close.

Dean felt like he was sitting on the edge of his orgasm with no danger of being thrown over, making him shout nonsense until his voice was rough and raw. As soon as he could form words he started chanting, “need you, Cas, need you inside, mount me,” over and over. Cas' hand was fantastic but it wasn't _enough_ , he needed _more_.

“Need to taste you,” Cas grunted out. In a move that would have impressed Dean in another circumstance, Cas gripped Dean and from his position below his Omega, he lifted him up and practically threw him down on his back on the couch. Cas grabbed the nearest pillow and thrust it under Dean's hips, all while Dean writhed and whined at the brief loss of contact. Cas then cursed his human status at having to physically remove his clothes instead of using his grace to simply whisk them away. While Dean bucked into the pillow, trying for friction, Cas tore at his jeans, damn near injuring himself in haste to be naked. Once he was divested of all cloth, he stood over Dean, holding his cock to stop from coming at the beautiful sight of his flushed Omega trying and failing to not grab himself. If he let Dean continue jerking himself while grinding down on the pillow while staring at Cas' leaking cock, this was going to be over. “Hands off,” Cas commanded and with a cry Dean obeyed, flinging his hands over his head to grab the arm rest. Cas squeezed the head of his cock until it was painful, pushing his orgasm away for the moment, then got between Dean's legs. Without further ado, he put his hands on Dean's thighs and engulfed Dean completely, letting Dean hit the back of his throat. 

_”CAS,”_ Dean screamed while he tried not to buck up into his Alpha. As Cas sucked his way back up the shaft, Dean pulled his knees up to his chest, Cas' hands moving around and under his thighs until he was holding the back of Dean's hips while Dean's ankles rested on Cas' shoulders. Cas sucked and swirled his tongue around Dean's cock, finally just having the head in his mouth. When he couldn't resist any more, he pulled off, stared at Dean's fluttering hole, and plunged his mouth down on it.

Dean howled at the first drag of Cas' tongue lapping at his slick. Cas growled with urgency as he licked, sucked, kissed, and lapped at Dean's hole, making sure to catch the rim with the tip of his tongue often. Cas' hands snaked up Dean's torso to play with his nipples, making Dean produce even more slick for Cas to enjoy. If Dean thought he was on the edge before, he was _wrong._ Cas brought him to a new plateau where he felt if Cas would just _fill_ him up, or _suck_ him off, then he could _come_. But no, Cas would change what his tongue and fingers were doing just often enough to not allow Dean's orgasm to arrive.

One thing Cas did need to do was stop trying to fuck the air. He needed to be _inside_ Dean sometime around _right this very second_ so he suddenly stopped what he was doing, sat up, and lined himself up. His brain was so scrambled he almost didn't hear when Dean said something that might have been 'stop' or 'wait'. Cas flung himself backwards so he wouldn't take advantage, noting that Dean had put his hands on Cas' chest and pushed slightly.

Dean flung his limbs about until they obeyed his brain. Very quickly he got himself so he was kneeling up on the couch and gripping the back. He thrust his ass back and tipped his head to the side, showing his claiming mark and _presenting_ for his Alpha. Cas' brain completely disengaged at the sight. He got up and stood behind his Omega, one foot on the floor and one planted on the couch, and roared _”DEAN,”_ as he gripped Dean's hips and lined himself up again. Cas paused for one second, long enough to notice he was trembling with need, cock leaking a continuous stream of precome, before he slowly, _agonizingly_ slowly, entered his favourite person in the whole world.

Every single millimetre of Cas' entry was felt by Dean, who let out one long, breathy whine at _finally_ having Cas' cock inside him. Dean felt his body alternately open for Cas and grip Cas. He felt his rim begin to pulse to try to milk Cas as Cas seated himself fully into Dean. For one small eternity, Cas just rested there, eyes wild, shaking with the effort not to come. “You ok,” Cas choked out, not wanting to move before Dean was ready.

“More than,” Dean managed in a tight voice. Dean squeezed Cas' cock with his ass as he slowly moved forward down the length of Cas before thrusting hard back, punching a groan out of his Alpha. He did it again, and again, before Cas decided that Dean would come first, not him......but it was going to have to be in the next minute or Cas was going to lose the battle.

Cas leaned forward and licked Dean's mark before putting his whole mouth on it. One of his hands went to Dean's nipples while the other fisted Dean's cock. He made sure to match Dean's thrusts as he sucked, pinched, and fisted Dean.....who had no chance at lasting. Dean's orgasm arrived like a tornado, pulling every nerve down to one _massive_ pulse between his legs. Screaming, Dean felt his rim snap down on Cas with the first pulse as he sprayed white ropes all over the throw blanket. Cas buried his knot into Dean at the same time as biting down _hard_ on the mark by the second pulse, and Cas was shooting his tremendous load by the third pulse.

They rocked together, riding out the aftershocks. Cas kept his mouth on the mark, licking and sucking, delighted that with every suck Dean would tremble, tense around Cas' cock, and try to milk more from him. Cas kept rutting, kept spurting little bits, every time Dean squeezed him. Cas took his hands away from Dean's oversensitive nipple and cock in favour of running his palms over Dean's sides while they calmed down. Reluctantly, Cas also released his mouth from the mark, licking it like a kitten instead.

After a while he could sense Dean's need to lie down, so he wrapped on arm around Dean's chest to hold him up while he fiddled with the soiled blanket. He managed to toss it over the back of the couch to be retrieved and cleaned later, and guided them both so they were lying down, spooning comfortably.

“Clean blanket under the couch,” Dean mumbled and fished around. He yanked one free, and the two of them managed to drape it over themselves so they wouldn't get cold. “Used to pass out here sometimes,” he offered as an explanation for having blankets in the common room. Dean didn't bother to elaborate that Sam was the one that kept them nearby to tuck Dean into on those nights. 

Once they were tucked, Cas ran his hands over Dean's arms, side, chest, and shoulders, murmuring praise and kissing his hair and shoulder. Dean noticed that Cas' hands would not touch his lower belly, and chose not to call Cas on it. As often as possible Cas would try to get his mouth back on the mark. “New kink,” Dean teased gently, feeling like he was floating comfortably in Cas' embrace.

“Maybe,” Cas smiled, licking it again. “Like that it shows your mine. My Omega. My love. Mine.” Cas pushed into Dean again, gasping softly at Dean's groan. Cas had no idea that it would feel so good to have his knot massaged by Dean's tight rim, and couldn't help himself from rolling his hips into Dean as much as possible. Dean was pliant and warm in his arms, making Cas unbelievably horny, considering he'd just come. “Dean,” he asked softly, bringing his hand down to rest on Dean's semi-hard cock while bringing his top leg over Dean's for leverage.

“Go for it,” Dean murmured contentedly, “just gonna lie here and take it.” Cas shuddered behind him, breathing picking up. His thrusts were shallow as he was still locked into Dean, but with each one he got more urgent, feeling Dean's slick increase around his cock. “That's it Alpha, fill me up with your come, make me yours,” Dean rumbled, seeming to know the words were urging Cas on. “You gonna wake me up like this someday? Slip your hard cock into my warm wet hole, thrust until I moan? You gonna mark up my insides with your come?” Dean gripped the edge of the couch so he could push back slightly, his cock already responding to Cas' hand.

“Shit,” Cas muttered as he realized this was turning him on way more than the thought it would. He had the presence of mind to let go of Dean's cock in favour of grabbing his shirt off the floor. He shoved the shirt under the blanket as something for Dean to come into, before resuming stroking his lover.

“Hmmmm, my good Alpha, taking care of me. So good to me, so good with your huge cock locked in. Making me yours, only yours, nobody gets me like this. Only you.” Dean kept on until his breathing was too ragged to form words. “Gonna...let....” Dean tried but failed.

“My Omega, come on my cock, come so I can fill you up. Want you so full your belly bulges,” Cas paused to suck at the mark again, desperately trying not to come until after Dean. It didn't take long. Cas could feel Dean's slick heat up around his cock, he felt Dean's rim tighten and begin milking him a mere second before Dean was spilling into the shirt. Cas kept his mouth on the mark as he poured into Dean, moaning and trembling with effort. He kept thrusting gently until Dean began to wince. Cas forced himself to stop moving so Dean could rest. He gently wiped Dean's cock with the shirt, then shoved it back onto the floor. He kissed the mark as he settled back in to cuddle Dean, who sighed with contentment.

“We're gonna need a shower,” Dean practically slurred. 

“Hmmmm,” Cas said while moving in to lick and very gently suck at the mark again. “I know how you like being clean,” he murmured. “When you're ready and my knot goes down, I'm going to help you to the shower room, where I'm going to wash you slowly and thoroughly. I'm going to make sure every inch of you is as clean as you like, inside and out, before cleaning myself. Then I'll take your fluffiest towels to dry you first, then find your softest clothes. I'll dress you, bring you water, and tuck you into your warm bed.”

“Forgetting something,” Dean murmured lazily.

Cas hummed questioningly.

“Gonna need you in the bed with me. Want you to stay. Please stay,” Dean asked quietly.

Cas hugged Dean firmly. “I'll stay as long as you want.”

“Forever. Want you to stay forever,” Dean murmured before slipping into a doze.

Cas felt tears spill into Dean's hair. “Of course,” was all he could manage without breaking down and sobbing in relief.


	12. Bonus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonus bit based on a comment I received about the couch ;)

Sam entered the bunker through the kitchen in the wee hours of the morning. He had class to teach at seven but he'd forgotten some material in his room. Rather than pick it up and risk intruding last night, he decided to slip in early enough that Dean shouldn't be awake yet.

The first thing he saw was the pie, which brought a smile to his face. He assumed Cas bought it just like he used to from that place near his work. Sam wandered over to it, debating on having a thin slice, when he saw the hole in it. _What the hell? Why would they eat it like that? Why not put it on a plate?_ he wondered to his tired self. A quick glance at the dishes in the sink told him they hadn't used cutlery to eat the pie. _Nope, don't want any pie now,_ he thought as he backed away from the pastry. 

He barely had time to recover from wondering whose fingers were in the pie when he entered the common room. _"DEAN,"_ he yelled before he could stop himself. On the couch, Dean startled in Cas' arms. They were very obviously making out and thankfully mostly covered in a blanket. Clothes were strewn about on the floor and the room absolutely _stank_ of Dean, Cas, and sex.

"Good morning, Sam," Cas greeted with a smile. 

"Uh....hey man....so, Cas and I are together again," Dean tried his best winning smile on his brother.

"Yeah. Cool. Congratulations. Dean? We talked about this. Personal space? You _have_ a _**bedroom**._ I sit on that!" Sam waved his hands at the couch. "Now it's..... _moist!"_ Sam paused to wipe his hand over his eyes. It was way too early in the morning for this. "Ok. Look," he put his hands on his hips, "when you two are done, shampoo it. TODAY. The steam cleaner is in the storage room," Sam ordered.

"Dunno if that'll do the trick, Sammy. Cas here is making a lot of-"

_"STOP,"_ Sam shouted. "We will go shopping then," he said in a much more reasonable tone. "After school. Cas can come with us." Sam saw Cas nod agreeably. "But first, you two have to get this thing out of the bunker and to the dump. TODAY. And USE YOUR BEDROOM."

A sly smile crept over Dean's face. He looked at Cas and said loud enough for Sam to hear, "well if we're just gonna throw it out..."

Sam managed to get his legs to work just as the blanket fell off the two of them. Even though he practically ran to his room for his things, he didn't move fast enough to drown out the moaning. _Oh Chuck, help me get through this,_ he thought as he steeled himself, knowing he was going to have to pass by them again on the way out.


End file.
